The Joy of Rimming

The Joy of Rimming

Of all of the possible sexual acts between two men, I think that rimming is the most intimate and for some, such as myself, the most satisfying. Few pleasures can match the mixture of taste, sensation and emotional experience that is rimming.  In the following paragraphs I will try to explain some of the techniques that I have learned and experiences I have had over more than twenty years of engaging in this pleasure.


EARLY YEARS

At 21 I licked the ass of the second man I had sex with (I was a late bloomer). I remember him asking me if I liked that kind of thing. I responded with an emphatic "Yes", although I had never done it before.  I was not sure why I would like it, but was sure I did.  Over the next several years, like many gay men, licking ass became part of my standard repertoire of sexual acts that I practiced in pleasuring other men.  It was always appreciated, but rarely reciprocated.  On the rare occasions when it was, I enjoyed it immensely, but over time I came to recognize that my usual role in sex would be that of pleasure giver rather than receiver.  I found I had natural skills in the art of rimming and enjoyed the power I felt in knowing I was creating sensations for my partner that he would rarely experience elsewhere.

It was not until my early thirties while I was a massage therapist in San Fransisco and the number of opportunities to please men with my tongue increased dramatically, that I found I could go beyond simple licking.

I found that with some men (and all men's bodies are different) you could suck in the area around the anus, nibble and even chew on it.  Once during a general discussion about sex a gay friend of mine said to me, "I am not impressed with men who lick, I only like the ones who chew."  We had never had sex together and it took me a few minutes to figure out what he was talking about. Then I thought "if he only knew what I could do for you" but he was not attracted to me, so that was that.

Remarkably, the anus unlike the head of the penis rarely gets sore or over-sensitized from use. I found that after awhile many men's asses would relax and it was possible to insert my tongue inside the entrance to the rectum. This was a revelation. Men had always enjoyed being licked, but I found I could literally drive men wild with my tongue inside their rectum.

More discoveries followed. I discovered tongue fucking. I discovered how, after a while, some men would relax so much that I could work my entire tongue all the way inside (and I have a big tongue). After a couple of years I found I was able to wiggle my tongue while inside. That will drive even the quietest man to call out" Oh God", "Oh Fuck" or to make animals noises that they have never made before in their lives. This is power.

As someone who had engaged in just about every possible type of oral and anal sex, I had never felt that kind of power before. I say I was placed on Earth to make men moan and call out to their maker. Eventually I discovered many positions and techniques, some inspired by porno films, others simply stumbled upon, so to speak.

Eventually I found that the anus could become so relaxed that it gave no resistance at all and I could achieve the ultimate in rimming, The Full Tongue Length Inside Swirl. One of the greatest achievements of my life. I developed a natural rhythm of light flicks, deep tonguing, cock and ball licking (I pull the balls down near the anus first and lick from the anus to the balls and back a few times, then I pull the cock down and lick from the anus up to the balls and over and around the head of the cock and back down again. I call that the Triple Whammy), gentle (or vigorous, depending on the person) biting, sucking and chewing on the anus, and vigorous tongue fucking. I frequently change the motion and pressure so that one area doesn't become over stimulated and lose sensation and my partner doesn't become bored. I call this Tongue Dancing.

I found that position is very important and I found my massage table to be the perfect rimming tool. Strong and easily moved, I eventually found one of my favorite position with the table.

I sit on a pillow with my back against an empty wall. I pull the narrow end of the massage table up to my chest and then have my partner lie on his back with his feet against the wall and his butt right in my face. My hands are free to jack off, play with my nipples or his, or snort poppers (and sitting up is the safest position for that) , my back is supported and as long as my partner's legs aren't too long (tall guys may eventually get leg cramps, shorter guys can last for hours), I find I can get pretty good penetration and have the longest sessions, (three hours at one sitting is the record) over any other position. I call this Wall Time. When I think I have someone who can really get into having their ass eaten, I ask, "Want to do some Wall Time?" More on positions later.


THE OTHER USE OF THE TONGUE

Two of the other things about rimming that really enhance the experience for me are visual and aural rather than oral. I love to have my partners watch me while I rim them. I love the dreamy look they get, then there is the look of surprise when you do something that you have never done before (and I am always discovering new things) or you have purposely held back from just for this moment . . . . When I am doing Wall Time, I prop up the guys head and shoulders with pillows. You can use mirrors in other positions. Many guys will simply close their eyes when being rimmed. I know I do. That is OK because there is always aural sex. I love the moans, heavy breathing and other sounds men make when they are having good sex and nothing brings out the vocal talents of most men than having a tongue up their ass. I especially love those rare men for whom being sexually turned on, turns on their need to express themselves verbally.

I don't like to be verbally abused. I once told a guy I was rimming, who started calling me a slut and a mother fucker, that he was simply hurting my feelings, rather than turn me on, and I was going to kick his ass rather than lick it, if he didn't stop.

I like guys to tell me how good it feels and offer words of encouragement, like "Yeah, eat my fuckin' butt, man!"  My favorite was a guy in SF who used to croon, "Yeah, make love to my hole, man.  Make love to that fuckin' ass".  How could I refuse such a lovely request?

When I am rimming, I work for 5 or 6 minutes straight, then take a minute or two to take a hit of poppers, ask how it feels (if he isn't moaning or telling me), ask about the guy's other rimming experiences, if any and relate some of mine (like the fact that I once knocked myself unconscious while tongue fucking a guy). 

I like to laugh and sex is no different, so I relate silly stories like that.  I will tell him how good he tastes and how turned on I am by that.  If a guy is inexperienced (and most of mine are at first), after chewing on his anus for awhile I will tell him that this is why it is called ass eating, not ass licking.  I am not a great talker when I am getting rimmed "Oh Fuck" and "Oh God" or just "Oh" are the most articulate things that come out of my mouth. 

I personally don't really start to moan a lot until I am in total ecstasy, but I encourage those that are not talkers to let any noises out, not hold them back.  My neighbors are used to hearing all the noise from my bedroom.  The ultimate experience is rimming a nice looking guy with a tasty butt who talks and moans while watching me rim him. I have only experienced this once. A MATTER OF TASTE.

The anus and the rectum are mucus membranes just like the head of a cock. This is why butt tastes so good and why every man tastes different.  The most delicious man I ever rimmed asked me what it tasted like, since he had never rimmed anyone and had no desire to do so.  I told him rimming him was like sucking cock and eating vanilla ice cream at the same time and it was.  My most frequent rimming buddy tastes different, musky, more like raw mushrooms, but still delicious.  Because the body produces similar chemicals in both the anus and the head of the cock, if you find a man with a delicious cock you most likely have found a man with a delicious ass.  The inside of the rectum, again another mucus membrane, tastes a little different because of the lubricating juices that the rectum produces.  Different men produce differing amounts of this juice. Some men gush with it.

For me a man's ass has to be clean as a whistle.  I like a man right out of the shower.  To me eating a stinky, sweaty butt would be like kissing someone with really bad breath on purpose, but that is a matter of personal taste.  Since I am strongly opposed to scat for both aesthetic and health reasons, I will not mention it further.

HAIR PIE?  My personal preference is for a smooth, hairless butt crack (I prefer smooth to hairy men in general).  But I know many ass eaters out there will disagree, they like the look and feel of body hair.  I feel that a smooth ass crack is more sensitive.  To that end, if my partner is comfortable with it, I love to shave a man's ass crack before I eat it.  The only problem is that he has to take a shower after the shave,because it is hard to get every smidgen of shave cream off and nothing tastes less sexy than soap, but as I said I love a man fresh from the shower.


A TASTE OF HONEY

There are also foods that are classic rimming accessories, such as whipped cream and honey.  Some like ripe bananas.  I have used ice cubes, jam, ice cream and chocolate syrup on a man's ass while eating it.  They are great as a change of pace but can't take the place of the taste of a hot man's ass.


P A system (positions and angles)

Rimming can probably be done in as many positions as yoga, but the first thing you must understand is that the anus is not in exactly the same place on every man.  Some are closer to the balls, some are farther away and this will determine the best position for different types of rimming. 

You can give a man a quick lick up the butt crack with him standing upright and legs slightly apart or only slightly bent at the waist.  You will often see this position used in porno films when one guy is sucking a man's cock and one is licking his ass. 

Don't make the mistake off thinking that all or even most of the positions you see in porno films are comfortable or even usable on average Joe. The three most frequently used positions for rimming are with the rimmee on his back and his legs in the air in one fashion or another, with the rimmee on his hands and knees, or with the rimmer on his back and the rimmee squatting over his face.

In reality, unless the guy you are rimming is fairly petite or extremely agile you can suffocate with a man sitting on your face.  Some guys like the sensation of being smothered, I do not.  Recently (or perhaps not so recently, the ancient Greeks and Romans may have had them for all I know) rimming chairs, the little low devices that hold the rimmee up off your face (and more importantly your nose) have come into vogue.  You can buy then ready made or create your own by modifying chairs.  I created one by cutting the seat out of a low beach chair (not a lawn chair) and then replacing it with a toilet seat. Many types of frames and seats can be used, but a toilet seat is the best basic component of most of them.  Of course you can not snort poppers while you are on your back with your head underneath of a rim seat, but I find it so exciting that I don't really mind.  My home made rim chair has been a huge hit with my rimming buddies (and the materials cost all of $18.00).  One reason they like the rim seat so much is that they can sit there, watch a porno film and jack off, while I eat their ass.  If I position the seat and TV correctly I can watch too. I find that I have more frequent orgasms with my partners when I use the rim seat, because I can jack off freely too.

I am told that slings are great too, but I'm not allowed to put holes in the ceiling where I live.  If you want long, languid rimming sessions, both you and the guy you are rimming need to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible. I always have a glass of water or soda within arms reach,(rimming can be thirsty work), my poppers of course and a towel to wipe my face (rimming can be sloppy work as well and I tend to chap otherwise).  It's great for sweat too, and if you should come while working on that ass, well there you are, easy clean up.

Find a position that is comfortable for both of you.  The best position will be determined by the exact size of your partner and exactly where his butt hole is.  Some positions that I recently discovered are what I call The Ultimate Penetration Position and The Princess and the Pea Positions.  The Ultimate Penetration Position is on the hands and knees. I have a low bed, so I have my partner place his knees on a couple of stacked pillows at the edge of the bed, head down, with his arms folded.  This puts his head as low as possible and his butt pointing straight up. I then pull up an ottoman up to the side of the bed and rest my upper body on it and position my head above my partner's butt hole. I can then just stick out my tongue, lean forward and let gravity and the weight of my upper body drive my tongue straight into my partner's butt hole. My tongue will glide slowly but continuously to the point where my entire tongue is inside my partner. I love the gliding sensation on my tongue so I call this type of Penetration' The Glide'.

Once deep inside, I can wiggle the tip of my tongue or move it in circles.  This will open up my partner's butt hole to the point where all resistance is gone.  I call this condition 'Good Sloppy'.  The other position that I discovered is with my partner on his back.  I pile up some bed pillows at the edge of the bed (when I did this before rimming my buddy Chris he said that it reminded him of the pile of mattresses in the story of the Princess and the Pea). This is what I named this position). 

I have my partner sit on the edge of the pile of pillows and slowly roll backwards (a wedge shaped foam pillow can be used instead of a pile of bed pillows).  This sends his butt into the air with the pillows for support.  Again I pull up an ottoman and rest the weight of my upper body on it and position my head directly over my partner's butt and again let gravity drive my tongue straight into his hole.  I have found that this is an easy position for men to stay in for some time.  The ideal rimming position should also allow you to jack off freely, neither of the above mentioned positions does, but I like them anyway.  I can always come in a different position.


HOLD STILL PLEASE

I personally prefer, at least in the first half hour or so, if my partner just lies back and lets me do all of the work.  That way I can show him my talents (if I have not done so before) and can later ask if he has any requests for more of a particular technique.  Not too surprisingly most guys say they love it all.  But some guys just can't sit still while you rim them.  They have to rub their ass in you face and buck and roll like mad a pony.  I appreciate the enthusiasm but that is not my favorite way to eat ass.  You may love it however. 

I recently was rimming a young man in Wall Time position when he grabbed my head with his feet(probably can pick socks up off of the floor with his toes too) and proceeded to fuck himself on my tongue.  It was wild and I did not mind too much.  I later said that he must have had a lot of experience to be able to do that, but he said no, that it was his first time being rimmed, but that he had fantasized about it a lot (and probably watching a lot of porno for inspiration). 

Generally I like to do the work and have partner just lie still and make noises.  After all, how can I use all of my talents if the other guy is using my tongue as a dildo?  I usually only allow my favorite partners to do that, and only for a limited time.  This is why I have never purchased a Joy Rider. The idea of lying for hours with my tongue fully extended while someone bounces up and down on it does not really appeal to me.

But if a man is sitting on my face, nothing turns me on more than to have him rub his butt hole up and down my tongue.  But you need very strong legs or very strong drugs to be able to do that for more than a few minutes.  I can create a similar effect by rocking forward and backward with my tongue on my partner's hole, while lying on my back under my rim seat, but one of my most fervent wishes is for someone to create a rim seat that glides forward and backward, a Joy Glider! Anyone good with tools?


ROUTE 69

One of the things you will see in porno films is 69 rimming, two guys rimming each other at the same time. It looks great on film, but is very hard to do and is one of those things such as cock sucking 69, that sound better than they feel.  It is very hard to fully enjoy all of the sensations your partner is creating for you while concentrating on creating similar sensations for him.

But there is a psychological thrill in such immediate reciprocity. I like to eat a guys ass while he sucks me, (which is usually easier).  It seems the least I can do, since he is being so generous to me, but I have to admit that it feels better when I just lie back and let him suck me.  Like I said there are psychological pleasures as well as physical ones involved in sex.

My best fuck buddy likes to sit on my face and let me get my tongue deep inside of him for a minute or two and then lean forward and suck my cock for a few minutes.  When he leans forward, he lifts his butt up off of my tongue a little.  He rocks back and forth like that for ten or fifteen minutes.  It is a perfect compromise between 69ing and turnabout, (taking turns).  I find it super hot.

It would seem that only the young or double jointed could ever hold some of the positions you see porno directors getting their actors into.  But is there hope for the less than athletic, the over 30 and those who have not practiced yoga for years?  Yes, you too can enjoy hours of rimming pleasure with the above mentioned rimming chairs, my Wall Time, Ultimate Penetration and Princess and the Pea positions or with a sling!


ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER

In many porno flicks you will see three or more guys rimming one another.   A classic is the five way ass eat in the Kristen Bjorn epic "Thick as Thieves".  

In reality even in three way situation not all of the people involved will be rimming at the same time.  Another classic scene is from the bi film" Innocence Lost" with Eric Manchester.  He and another guy and a girl go into an all night grocery store.  The girl sits naked among the produce with Manchester standing naked in front of her.  The third guy is kneeling behind Manchester tonguing his ass.  Manchester smashes open a watermelon and the girl takes the pulp and squeezes juice all over herself.  Manchester starts licking it off of her breasts.  Then the girl reaches over Manchester's shoulder and squeezes juice and bits of fruit down his back into the waiting mouth of the guy rimming him.  It is a very memorable scene for me (I love watermelon). 

Some day I am going to remake that scene with three guys.  Needless to say they made an awful mess. 

My point is that you can't take what you see in porno as a template for your own sex life.  It can give you a hell of a lot of ideas though.  Three way sex can be great or it can be awful, it just depends on the people involved.  The more people involved, the more likely someone is going to be having a bad day or be jealous or not attracted to all of the other people involved.  I personally prefer one on one, but then if two porno stars invite me to have sex with them I'm not going to say no either.  Sometimes you take what is offered.  Having an extra guy to hold your feet in the air while the other guy eats your ass can eliminate the need for all of that costly equipment.


OH HOLY KNIGHT

If you kiss someone's butt cheeks, have you rimmed him?   Does the perineum count?   Does a quick lick up the butt crack count?  My answer to all of them is yes.  For me rimming involves the use of the mouth on anything below the balls in front and below the small of the back behind.  You can rim through briefs, around a thong or jockstrap, even through jeans, whatever you and your partner think is exciting.  I once had a guy come to me wearing very holy underpants (this was planned ahead of time).  I rimmed him through the briefs, then through the holes, then tore them off with my teeth and really got to it.  It was very hot.


STROKE, STROKE, STROKE

The most frequently seen stroke in rimming is the broad tongued lick up and down the butt crack.  This usually occurs as a continuation of oral sex starting with the cock, proceeding to the balls and then down the perineum and into the ass crack (or gluteal cleavage as we had to call it in massage school). 

Once in the area the usual focus is long strokes of the tongue up and down over the anus.  A lovely way to start,but unfortunately that is also were it ends with most guys.  I have had hundreds of men tell me that is all they have ever experienced of ass eating.  Well not after they meet me!  As I wrote earlier that is how I started but I soon learned that other things could be achieved.  I started by changing from up and down strokes to back and forth strokes.  I then proceeded to circular strokes, first around the area just outside of the anus, then over the anus itself.  A variation of the basic lick is to very slowly and forcefully drag the tongue up and down over the anus or go only in one direction.

A long time ago I was taught a tongue technique of sticking the tongue out stiffly and shaking the head as if to say NO rapidly.  It works great on balls, perineum, or anus.  I learned another technique from a sex partner about ten years ago which he applied only to the nipples.  I extended it to the back of the cock shaft and head as well as the anus.  This involves flicking the tip of the tongue up and down rapidly inside the mouth.  Naturally whatever you are working on has to be inside the mouth; nipple, back of the head of the cock, or anus.  Later I learned to flick the tongue off of the roof of the mouth and strike the anus inside the mouth with force, creating a strong vibration.

By starting to nibble on the perineum (the area just below the balls) and working down I found that most men love to have their butt hole chewed on, some lightly, some very strongly.  This is when I found that with most men you can actually take that whole area around the anus and the anus itself into the mouth and suck and chew on it.  Different men will have differing amounts of pliability in this area.  Some are very tight and you can't suck on them at all, others have very soft succulent flesh around the anus (obviously my fave rave) not to mention the flaps or lips that some men have around the anus.  Not so beautiful, but fun to chew.  When fully relaxed, some men's butt holes will look swollen and purplish due to engorgement with blood.  My rimming buddy Chris (who named the Princess and the Pea position) calls this condition 'monkey butt', because it resembles the swollen genitals of female monkeys in heat.  Although not very pretty, it is my favorite way to see a man's butt, because it means he must be enjoying what I am doing to him.  It is more likely to happen when the rimmee is sitting (as on a rim seat) because gravity pulls the blood downward or when you are sucking on the anus.  Some men never get this swelling, so don't worry if your partner doesn't get it.

You may find some men who have very large, muscular butt cheeks that create such a deep crack that it is difficult for your tongue to reach his butt hole.  I have found the Princess and the Pea position the best to deep rim these guys in.

Some guys are very sensitive and feel pressure as pain, others feel it as pleasure.  With the latter the more vigorously you suck and chew this area the more pleasurable, just remember to start out gently and work up to a frenzy if your partner is OK with it.  You can suck on the anus and pull away so that your mouth pops off of it.  You can do this with varying degrees of force.  Again find out you partners comfort level.  Then we have something that I saw in a porno film that I have used with varying degrees of receptivity.  That is spiting on the anus.  Some men love it and say, "Yeah man spit on my butt hole."   Others just don't feel that much.  Of course you have to lick the saliva up after each spit.  A variation you see in videos is the poolside fountain spit.  If you are in the pool or hot tub and you partner is on the pool deck with his legs in the air you can take in a mouthful of water and squirt it at his butt hole.  Sounds like fun, but I have never tried it myself.

Another technique is to stiffen the tongue and pull away so that only the tip is touching the skin.  Then starting anywhere on the butt cheek or crack and making a wide circle up and over the butt cheek, and down the butt crack, then up and over the other cheek, kind of a figure 8.  I have always been amazed at the reactions men have to such a light touch and with most of the stroke over non mucus tissue.  Almost every man loves this stroke.  Speaking of a light touch, some men love little, very light, barely touching the skin, strokes on the anus.  This makes a nice change of pace from the heavier strokes and lets your tongue rest a little before returning to the more strenuous stuff

Little love bites on the ass cheeks or even vigorous sucking and chewing ( depending on your man's sensitivity) are usually welcome.

Another variation of plain old licking is to spread the anus with the fingers exposing the more sensitive lining if the sphincter ring and flicking the tongue up and down or across it.  After a little of this dig the tips of your fingers in a little more and spread more forcefully and do the tongue flick .  I personally don't like mixing fingering the ass more than this with rimming.  I know some guys are fine with it but I only finger a man's ass with lube ( I don't like being fingered much at all, give me tongue or cock). 

A sphincter is a ring of muscle that closes a part of the digestive tract.  You have sphincters at the top and bottom of your stomach as well as other places along the colon.  The anal sphincter is the ring of muscles that closes the anus.  In some men this ring of muscle is only a eighth of an inch or so thick, in other men it can be almost two inches thick.  Obviously you are not going to get your tongue very far inside of an ass like that.  The sphincter is actually composed of layers of muscle fiber and I have had experiences where the outermost layer of muscle relaxes easily but the innermost will not, or at least it takes longer.

I have found that the Ultimate Penetration and Princess and the Pea positions are the most effective when dealing with a butt that is reluctant to relax, because of the effects of gravity. 

Tongue fucking (repeated thrusts of the head aimed directly at the anus with the tongue stiffly extended) is another great technique.  I find that it does not matter much if you penetrate with the tongue, it is the vibration caused by the impact of your face hitting the person's ass cheeks that creates the pleasure.  (Vibration is like a direct order to a muscle to relax.  That is why a vibrator can penetrate a tight ass more easily that a cock, and vibrating chairs are so popular). 

When I am sitting ,eating ass in the Wall Time position my head is only a few inches from the wall.  Once I was tongue fucking a guy so hard that the back of my head was banging against the wall.  That is how I knocked myself unconscious for a few seconds.  The guy never noticed, he was in such ecstasy.  Every man I have ever tongue fucked loved it, usually the harder the better.  When in Wall Time position I can grasp the sides of the table and rock it back and forth toward my face for added impact.  I have to be careful though because I have knocked my jaw out of whack a couple of times (Oh the things we do for pleasure).  You can also do good tongue fucking in the Ultimate Penetration Position.

I have already mentioned the cock, ball and butt licking combo I call the Triple Whammy, a good way to rest your tongue a bit after vigorous tongue fucking.  It also takes the total focus off of the anus for awhile which allows the nerve endings to be resupplied with neurotransmitters, preventing a decline in sensation.  Besides all men love to have their cock paid attention to.  If I know the guy well I will often say, "let's give Mr.Cock and Mr.  Balls some attention so they don't feel left out" (it sounds silly so I only do it with people I know).

Most men loose their erection when being fucked or rimmed.  It is perfectly normal.  I think the brain is unable to process all of the sensations from two areas at once, so it shuts one down for awhile, but when enough sexual tension has built up to approach orgasm the erection will return so the person can ejaculate.  If an afternoon of ass eating is what you are after, take it pretty light and slow because vigorous ass chewing and tongue fucking can lead to early orgasm.  Of course if you are under time constraints, you can speed things up by picking up the pace and use the more vigorous strokes and techniques like tongue fucking.


MIXED BAG

You might think from all that I have written that I do nothing but eat ass.  While it is my favorite sexual activity, I love to suck and lick any part of a man.  Toes, finger, ear lobes, cock, balls, nipples (I love nipples) necks, inner thighs, arm pits (without deodorant please, that is were a pre-sex shower comes in handy) you name it, I will happily suck or lick it.  Despite what one would gather from Harry Sillen's wonderful films, most sex is a mixed bag, a combination of activities,sometimes in succession, sometimes in a repeated cycle.

One of my more recently discovered (new to me) activities is to I have my partner on his hands and knees on the massage table, head resting on his folded arms, in yoga this is called the child position.  I then reach between his legs and pull his cock backwards.  How far backwards depends on how hard he is and that is often determined by how old he is.  The erections of young guys can appropriately be called boners, they often are so stiff that they point at the ceiling. 

As men age, no matter how hard their cocks get they begin to droop toward the floor.  By the time a man is 40 he may still get a very firm erection but his cock usually no longer springs away from the body. 

Anyway, I pull the cock backwards as far as is comfortable for the man and lick or suck the head.  Then I start moving up the shaft, making little circles with the tongue as I go.  When I reach the balls I lavish circular licks on them and then proceed up the perineum to the butt crack.  I reverse myself and go back down to the head of the cock again.  I do this a couple of times going into the ass crack a little further each time and then when I reach the butt crack the third or forth time I proceed with circular licking up and over the anus and back down again. 

Two parts of the joy of sex are anticipation and surprise.  By repeating a stroke several times you can set up anticipation in both the person's mind and body.  Once you have established a repeated pattern, you can slow down and create a wonderful agony of anticipation.  Or once you have established an anticipated pattern of behavior, you can suddenly alter it and create surprise. 

It is this blend of psychological and physical subtleties that can take sex from the routine to the extraordinary.  After tonguing my partners cock, ball and ass for awhile I turn facing away from his head, and reaching over his back I embrace his ass in a hug.  This leaves my left hand free (I am right handed).  I then begin lightly smacking his ass cheeks,.very gently at first but increasing in intensity.  I then stop and spread his ass cheeks and lightly spank his butt hole and perineum.  The purpose of spanking here has nothing to do with punishment.  It is being used as a pure sensation.  Depending on my partners reaction, I can judge how forceful a smack is pleasurable and not painful.  I have been very surprised that about 98 percent of men I have tried this on have reacted very positively, moaning and wiggling their asses with pleasure.  In this position I can also wet my right forearm with spit and rub it up and down my partner's butt crack, changing the angle of my arm on the up stroke and dragging my fingers over his balls.(something I once saw Zak Spears do in a porno film) I have found few men who do not love these techniques.  Some men will like to be spanked harder than others.  Judge by his reactions or simply ask how it feels.  I call this position the Gentle Spanking Position.

After doing these techniques for awhile, if this is the first time I have had sex with this man, I ask if he would like more.  Unless he has to rush off to catch a plane he invariably says yes. 

It is then that I have him stand up, move the pillows into place, sit with my back against the wall, pull the massage table close to my chest and have him lie on his back with his feet against the wall.  I have a cloth wall hanging on that wall to prevent foot prints and no pictures that can be accidentally knocked down and hit me in the head( I have learned the hard way). 

I have a routine with my most frequent sex buddy, where rather than go straight into ass eating he slips in between me and the table and I deep throat his cock for awhile( a skill I learned just last year), then when he is ready he lays back on the table , lifts his legs in to the air and I pull it close to my chest and dig into his hot ass. 

I often go back and forth between his cock and his ass for quite a long time,then he gets up and pulls the table aside and goes down on my cock while I am still sitting with my back against the wall ,or pulls me up and over to the bed where he sucks my cock and tits and licks my butt crack ( the only technique he knows, but hell I'm not complaining).  With the majority of my partners the usual sequence of events these days is, Gentle Spanking Position, Wall Time, Ultimate Penetration, Princess and the Pea and finally the Rim Seat. 


SEX IS 90% IN THE BRAIN

Much of the psychological pleasure of sex involves fantasy, dominance and submission.  Fantasy can be a major component of masturbation.  There are few attractive men that I have not fantasized about at one time or another while jacking off.  Ricky Martin screams "Aye! Aye! Aye!" when I eat his butt.  Tennis star Marat Safin talks dirty in Russian.  The Rock raises both eye brows when I have my tongue in his ass.  During actual sex I am so into the moment that I rarely fantasize, but for those in long term relationships it can become a necessity to prevent boredom.  Role playing, dominance and submission can be part of fantasy.  I think that almost all bondage and S&M is fantasy.  I have only known one person in my life who actually enjoyed walking around with welts on his back.  For most men dominance and submission are reversible roles, so that tells a lot about the reality of it.

Some would say that rimming is a submissive act.  It might seem so and yet I feel remarkably empowered by it for reasons I have mentioned before.  I used to have fantasies while masturbating about being forced to eat a man's butt.  They were fairly vague fantasies, never very specific.  Twice in the early 90s I tried to enact this fantasy with men.  I had one tie me up and sit on my face.  Another just sat on my face and ordered my to rim him. 

Well, it is hard to be forced to do something that you love, so after a few very fake "No, No, No's" I realized that this was not very satisfying.  Maybe I felt guilty about rimming, since it is something that the majority of people would consider kinky.  When I got over my guilt those fantasies disappeared.  Now I freely fantasize about rimming half the men I see, because I know from experience that it is something nearly all men love to have done to them.  Recently I have met a couple of guys who like to be tied up or handcuffed while being rimmed.  I tie them on their backs on my massage table with their legs in the air and rim them that way.  It is pleasurable for me because it is so exciting for them. 


TO FUCK OR NOT TO FUCK

For some, probably the majority of men, rimming is just a quick prelude to fucking, for others like me it can be the main event, the main course, if you will, of a sexual encounter.  Some will find the penetration stimulating, but want even more and want to be fucked.  I try to satisfy all of my partners, in whatever way I can. 

I can't say I love using condoms but I wouldn't fuck any other way.  I don't really believe in tops and bottom, (besides if a guy is sitting on your cock isn't he the top then?)  I just believe that every one is capable of doing anything they set out to do well. 

So if your partner wants to fuck or be fucked, you should do it to please them and they should do the same for you.(and if they won't, find another partner, the world is awash in men looking for sex with other men, remember Dr.  Kinsey said that 75% of men are basically bisexual and my experience has shown me that the good Doctor was very right).

The only exceptions I will allow is if your partner wants to do something blatantly unsafe (like bare backing) or involves giving or receiving pain or humiliation or crosses some major boundary such as involving others, when you object, involves excrement (shit or piss) is dangerous physically (let's have sex while sky diving) or legally (let's have sex on the front lawn in front of the neighbors).  I believe that sex should be mutual, it just happens that the thing that turns me on the most is servicing other men and it doesn't bother me if they don't reciprocate(but I love it if they do) as long as they reward my efforts with vocal communication. 


THERE IS THE RUB

I have a short full beard and many many men have commented on how good it feels against their ass.  Sometimes while I give my tongue a rest (yes it is a muscle and can get fatigued, but fortunately like lifting weights, using it makes it stronger) I rub my beard up and down my partner's crack.  Men seem to love it.  I tell them that my beard has more uses than just to cover my double chin.  I have been rimmed a few times by men who had heavy beard stubble.  It was awful.  I kept thinking "this would be great if he wasn't rubbing my butt raw with that sandpaper".  Unless your partner is into pain make sure that you either have a soft beard or are freshly shaved when you eat ass.

That brings me to another form of preparation for both kinds of anal sex, that is popular.  Namely enema’s or male douching.  The rectal chamber of a man with a healthy colon is usually empty (a sphincter at the end of the colon takes care of that) but because of poor eating habits or other reasons that sphincter may fail to do it's job, so many men, myself included, feel more fresh and confident (sounds like a feminine product commercial ) if they clean the area with water (enema, male douche) before having any kind of anal sex. 

This is a personal choice of course.  My personal experience has been that if a man does not love to be rimmed it is usually because of insecurities in the hygiene area.  A male douche can eliminate this.  Of course I am not recommending the garden hose enemas that are featured in some porno films, they can not be good for the delicate lining of the rectum, but enema bags, bulb syringes and other enema devices are available at all drug stores.  Check the package for instructions. 

I personally feel more comfortable when getting fucked if I do a douche right before.  Of course all of these preparations presupposes that you are planing ahead to have sex.  For those times when sexual opportunity arises unexpectedly, in unexpected places, penetration carries some risk.  That will be a matter of personal discretion.  I personally would never would pull a total strangers jeans down in an dark ally and start tonguing his butt crack, the way you see in porno films, but maybe I am an unusually finicky ass eater. 


RISKS

This is probably a good place to talk about the possible dangers of eating men's asses.  HIV is transmitted through blood or semen.  Unless the man has bleeding hemorrhoids (and that can happen) or has been fucked very recently (vigorous fucking can cause small tears in the lining of the rectum, a major reason unprotected anal sex is the # 1 method of HIV transmission in gay men) blood is unlikely to be encountered when eating ass (I don't think I need to tell you not to bite hard enough to draw blood, do I ?)  Unless your partner has just been fucked ,you will never encounter semen either.  So the danger of HIV transmission is very low, probably lower that sucking cock.  But since I rarely have sex without sucking cock I follow the guidelines for safer oral sex in general;

Never have oral sex less than two hours after brushing your teeth (brushing causes micro tears on the gums)

and never have oral sex while suffering from gum disease, especially bleeding gums, a danger to both you and your partner, or if you have had oral surgery recently.  Any opening in the gums or lining of the mouth is a potential doorway for infectious agents into the body.  Use your head and consider any risks.  You can not enjoy eating ass if you are dead.

For those who want some semblance of rimming with no risks, use a dental dam or cellophane between your mouth and your partners anus.  Kissing and licking the ass outside of the butt crack as well as sucking the balls should be safe.

The real risks of rimming are hepatitis and intestinal parasites, now even cholera.  There are vaccines for Hepatitis A and B.  I have been inoculated against hepatitis B and had A back in the 80's (from eating in a restaurant not from rimming), so my only danger is from Hepatitis C. 

At the moment I don't know of any protection from it, but you can contract C several ways other than rimming.  I have had intestinal parasites three times in the last twenty years, all easily treated.  I have also gotten nonspecific urethritis and crabs three times each, from sucking cock.  There are risks in everything, decide which ones you are willing to take.  Sex is one of the essential joys of life and for me rimming is an essential joy of sex.  I have chosen to minimize the risks rather than try to avoid them completely.


IN CLOSING

To me sex is one of the essential joys of life and rimming is one of the essential joys of sex.  A buddy of mine once told me that he thought that if very man in the world was rimmed for just half an hour every day, there would be no war or violent crime because it has such a relaxing, stress reducing effect.  So I have made this my motto

Peace Through Rimming

___________________+

Reprinted by PsychMstr