tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42727110481799529852024-02-07T00:03:59.574-05:00QueerMaster<i>Sex, Politics and Queer Life Today</i>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-59083936905500282152017-11-05T11:55:00.002-05:002017-11-05T11:55:58.222-05:00Hot Men FB Friendly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-73743331510806335952017-08-12T10:05:00.003-04:002021-12-27T18:31:53.207-05:00Pix: Today's Hot Men<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-79853549312217587332017-06-11T13:07:00.001-04:002023-02-17T22:35:30.751-05:00The Psychology of Slaves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Queer World boasts a host of sexual behaviors whose superficial aspects have begun to enter mainstream society, principally through the expression of fashion, of dress.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sad to say, these superficial expressions have also influenced the Queer World itself, where Kink amounts to little more than drag. The image of leather he-men entering a space and then revealing themselves to be little more than nelly queens in talk and manner becomes the stock-in-trade of those who insist upon trivializing gay behavior that they do not understand.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">There is, however, deeper layers to this Queer World. Even here, trivial minds characterize as mere "role-play" the effort of men to address the needs of the submissive gay male seeking to be dominated, even "owned" by a man.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Let's define our terms. I am talking about biological male human beings who are not psychologically comfortable as men. They are not females at all, yet they seek to be taken care of, to be controlled, to be dominated by real men. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">What is a man then? A man wants control of his life, control of his body, control of his mind, control of his soul. He is goal oriented. He is logical. He is the aggressor sexually and in life in general. He is a decision maker, a protector, a hunter/gatherer. A man is many things -- virtually none of which are satisfying to the sort of submissive gay male of which I speak.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Not all submissive gay males wish to be completely dominated. For those that do, I call them, for want of a better term, "slave" in the word's true etymological sense as one who seeks to be completely dominated by another. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">We do have the case of heterosexual men who seek the services of a dominatrix, but let us be clear. Such a man seeks sexual excitement and release by engaging the services of female dominatrix, but it is the man who still calls the shots: he still must pay her and he still controls the action, even if indirectly.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The entire point of a submissive male's seeking domination lays in its desire to avoid responsibility for its action, its thought. It wants a man to take charge of its being, its very soul, and men in the Queer World have developed both subtle psychological, as well as grossly physical, techniques of bringing such submissive males to an ever more complete subjugation to the will of their Masters, as the dominating men in such contexts are called. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">One such Master has listened extensively to what such slaves have said about their own nature and desires:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">In many ways, a slave seeks the role and he functions as a female. This does not denote frilly, dainty or feminized, just female. However, while no man would ever accept frilly, dainty or feminized, most slaves would if this is what they were expected to do. He asks to be the receiver of the male seed, seeking to be penetrated orally or anally.<br /><br />He asks to be domestic, seeking hearth and home over the world outside. He asks to be allowed to be nurturing and intuitive. He is emotional and more often than not wants to function on these emotions, not logic. He seeks to submit to a strong male influence and then seeks to be directed and protected by the strong male. He specifically rejects those attributes of a man I outlined above that are in contrast to the female.<br /><br />In short, he is female more than he is male.<br /><br />In many ways, he seeks the role and functions as a child. We even refer to him as "boy" and he relishes this title. He is easily upset when he breaks the rules and feels guilty for having done so. He wants to please adult males and is happiest when they are happy. He is pliable as a child is pliable, willing to do and be whatever the adult male wants him to do and be. He wants his body to be denuded of any physical traits of adult males, usually enjoying and feeling most natural with no body hair particularly in the pubic region, even as he finds such body hair erotic on men.<br /><br />He asks for and seeks to have his sexual urges controlled so he is not bothered by them just as a child is seldom bothered by them. Eventually, the slave loses his ability to eroticize and sexualize by himself and such feelings need to be aroused by an adult male. He finds it hard to control and behave himself in many situations and then feels badly when he has misbehaved. To change his behavior, it is not overly effective to deal with him as one would deal with a man. Rather, he is most effectively corrected through the same types of methods used on children, not the least of which is being taken over the knee and spanked.<br /><br />In short, he is more child than adult.<br /><br />In many ways, he seeks the role and functions as an animal. He feels comfortable on the floor, not using furniture. He wants to be on all fours, feels best on all fours. He needs to be petted and stroked as a man does an animal. He wants to eat and drink out of bowls, even toilet bowls, not using hands or utensils and finds satisfaction in being fed from the hand of his Owner. He expresses affection in the way an animal does, through the eyes, through body language, through licking, nuzzling, rubbing. He accepts being denied human speech and readily and naturally purrs, sighs, whimpers and even growls. He allows his body to be modified by piercing, tattoos, brands, in any way a man wants to modify it whether or not he wants it, even to the point of being sexually "fixed" as an animal would.<br /><br />In short, he is more animal than human.<br /><br />In many ways, he is a thing. He seeks to be owned, like a commodity. He seeks and allows his body to be used as if it feels no pain, even though it does. He will function as a wastebasket, an ashtray, a toilet, a doormat, a mop, a dishrag. He will call himself a toy, gear, any use other terms of "things" to describe himself. He will identify with other material goods the Man owns and often sees himself as little more than just a more complicated material good the Man owns. He readily accepts being referred to as property and will accept being called "it" and will do so himself if it is expected of him. He will become completely passive allowing things to happen to him and be done to him never moving nor making a sound as if he were a rock or a plant.<br /><br />In short, he is more thing than human.<br /><br />So, what do we call this being that rejects all that a man is, rejects all that he appears to be on the outside and is more female than male, more child than adult, more animal or mineral than human? How can we say we want to develop him into "who" he is when his own self-definition transcends his being a "who." We can only refer to him as "what" he is because it does not fit to call him "who." Thus, I refer to him as what, not as who, and why I can define these beings simply as slave, because I have no other term.</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Slaves, then, in the context of the Queer World, refer to male submissives who have the courage to seek their bliss, men who enjoy dominating them, much as man would keep a pet to train, a hobby offering multiple pleasures, not the least of which is a pet having some intelligence, making it more useful to the man than a dog, cat, or some other pet. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just as a man enjoys the process of building a loving relationship with the dog he is training, so a man enjoys the more complicated and challenging process of building a loving relationship with a submissive male human being. The Master loves his slave, but he loves it as a man loves his dog. The process through which the man trains the dog is the emotional glue that binds the two of them together. Dogs, of course, love the attention, and gay slaves enjoy the attention of their Masters in exactly the same way. Thus the practices of Masters and slaves in "session" work, where, through pain and submission, tight sexual bonds are formed. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What, if anything, does the foregoing have to do with "gay marriage"? The implications are these: real men do not get married, as real men are psychological equals. One does not dominate the other, and while two men can develop a sexually active love relationship with each other, it is unlikely to last very long for the reasons already stated. If, however, one of the two men is not truly a man but a slave, then a sound and stable sexual relationship might be established, even if it is only the slave who is sexually monogamous. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Monogamy, of course, is not the point of such relationships. In fact, the only benefit to sexual monogamy is the security of the female in producing children: she wants to know that she and her offsring will be supported and that she will be well-treated with kindness and consideration. Males alone do not produce children, so the only interest lay in sex and control. On such a basis gay males have a chance to build healthy and satisfying relationships, not by trying to emulate heterosexual marriage.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></span>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-50740214753729938552016-08-15T21:44:00.003-04:002016-08-15T21:45:00.326-04:00Today's Hot Men (081516)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-16355504763274782142015-12-19T23:42:00.002-05:002016-01-08T18:32:02.283-05:00Eye Candy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-29678173965301296652015-08-21T18:53:00.000-04:002015-08-21T18:54:12.222-04:00Today's Hot Men (082115)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-27112686673724843632015-07-11T19:48:00.001-04:002015-07-12T00:55:38.037-04:00Today's Hot Men (071215)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-66969969543599577932014-09-20T12:30:00.000-04:002014-09-20T12:34:04.122-04:00Today's Hot Men (092014)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-82766476857591745802014-06-03T19:14:00.002-04:002015-07-12T00:44:42.368-04:00Today's Hot Men (060314)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-30921148278081980102014-05-17T22:46:00.000-04:002014-05-17T22:46:31.258-04:00Today's Hot Men (051714)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-64877862792713937092014-04-26T14:28:00.001-04:002014-04-26T14:29:05.878-04:00Today's Hot Men (042614)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-90262367066815972032014-04-20T11:49:00.001-04:002014-04-20T11:50:11.966-04:00Today's Hot Men (0429144)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-80277664486403160482014-04-12T10:42:00.001-04:002014-04-12T10:42:41.704-04:00Today's Hot Men (041214)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-47482601737731500312014-03-25T16:39:00.001-04:002014-09-20T12:33:41.986-04:00JesseJackman.xxx | Classical Caber: “Sonata for Flute and Piano”<a href="http://jessejackman.xxx/2014/03/25/classical-caber-sonata-for-flute-and-piano/#comments">JesseJackman.xxx | Classical Caber: “Sonata for Flute and Piano”</a><br />
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<img alt="http://jessejackman.xxx/files/2012/09/IMG_8489.jpg" class="decoded" height="300" src="http://jessejackman.xxx/files/2012/09/IMG_8489.jpg" width="400" /><br />
Like any artist, Dirk’s style has changed over time as his skills <br />
have grown and matured. The pieces I’ve posted so far have been some of <br />
Dirk’s older works; his <a href="https://soundcloud.com/jessejackman/edification-and-amusement" target="_blank" title="Edification and Amusement">rag</a>, for example, dates back to when he was 16,<br />
and the <a href="http://jessejackman.xxx/2014/03/10/dirk-goes-down-east/" target="_blank" title="Dirk Goes Down East">Mount Desert Island Suite </a>is already about 12 years old. In fact,<br />
just last week Dirk asked me why I was posting his older stuff. “I want<br />
people to hear what my style sounds like <i>now</i>,” he explained. With that<br />
in mind, I’m happy to share with you the 4th movement of his <i>Sonata for </i><br />
<i>Flute and Piano</i>, completed in 2011.<br />
<br />
Here is Dirk’s take on piece:<br />
<div style="margin-left: 38px;">
<a name='more'></a><img alt="openquote" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-22783" src="http://jessejackman.xxx/files/2014/03/openquote.png" height="46" width="62" /><i>The Sonata for Flute and Piano</i><br />
started off as sketches for a much smaller, simpler piece I wanted to <br />
be able to play with my boyfriend at the time, who played flute. Those <br />
first notes, written in spring of 2003, are still there, now the <br />
beginning of the third movement of four. This piece has one of the <br />
longest gestations of anything I’ve written, started in 2003 and not <br />
finished until 2011. In that time it completely changed in scope and <br />
difficulty, now well over twenty minutes long and challenging to even <br />
expert flautists and pianists. The second movement in particular is one <br />
of the thorniest thickets I’ve ever asked two musicians to machete their<br />
way through. This fourth movement was meant as the foil for all the <br />
angst that precedes it. More playful and lighthearted, it ends a rather <br />
turbulent piece with a little smile.”</div>
<br />
Perhaps down the road I’ll post the other three movements of the <i>Sonata</i>,<br />
or Dirk might even release it on iTunes. (I’m happy to say we’re making<br />
some good progress with getting that set up.) But for now, please enjoy<br />
the 4th movement. Dirk and I hope it puts a little smile on your face <br />
too! <img alt="" class="alignnone wp-image-4611" src="http://jessejackman.xxx/files/2013/07/square-smile.gif" height="12" style="border: 0px none; left: 2px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 0px; position: relative; top: 2px;" title="smile" width="12" /><br />
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<br />
<a href="https://soundcloud.com/jessejackman/sonata-for-flute-and-piano-4th-movement" style="display: block; overflow: hidden; position: relative;"><img alt="Dirk at his parents' piano, Thanksgiving 2013" class="size-large wp-image-23833" src="http://jessejackman.xxx/files/2014/03/Dirk-at-Piano-720x358.jpg" height="358" width="720" /></a>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-68092926001368684842014-03-23T14:55:00.001-04:002014-09-20T12:33:23.371-04:00Brick Bishop<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10202383178474506&set=a.1090456095327.2015684.1044235400&type=1">Brick Bishop</a><br />
I have it on good authority from insiders at the Pentagon, that the reason the armed services were so afraid of allowing gays to serve openly in the military for so long was the fear that in only a matter of time there would be soldiers fighting naked wearing only divine feathered helmets.<br /><br />Upon further study the Pentagon has decided that this would be a good tactic in hand to hand combat, because nothing scares a straight dude more than seeing the combination of a penis and a feathered head dress advancing rapidly in their direction... outside of France that is.Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-8961264865543781832014-03-10T05:37:00.002-04:002014-03-10T18:41:09.271-04:00Today's Hot Pix (031014)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-6167475448905467582014-03-09T20:05:00.001-04:002014-03-09T20:06:06.592-04:00Today's Hot Pix (030914)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-34327825178619029542014-03-09T00:06:00.000-05:002014-03-09T19:37:55.748-04:00Today's Hot Men (030814)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-1952475326122567082014-03-05T19:09:00.001-05:002014-03-08T10:25:01.988-05:00No Such Thing As Beyond Help<br />
<a href="http://jessejackman.xxx/2013/03/14/no-such-thing-as-beyond-help/">No Such Thing As Beyond Help: A Guest Post By </a><a href="http://twitter.com/dolanwolfxxx" target="_blank">Dolan Wolf</a><br />
March 12, 2013<br />
<br />
<br />
<div>
<img alt="wilfried-knight" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22665" src="http://jessejackman.xxx/files/2013/03/wilfried-knight.jpg" width="100%" /></div>
<br />
<br />
Yesterday I saw Rupert Everett in the role of Oscar Wilde in The Judas<br />
Kiss, a play that focuses on the pivotal decisions Wilde made, first in 1895,<br />
not to flee England and avoid trial for gross indecency (aka loving men)<br />
and second in 1897 to reunite with his lover after serving a two year prison<br />
term, though the price was rejection from all his friends and family.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>As soon as I left the theatre I received a message from a friend in the US to<br />
let me know that <a href="http://manhuntdaily.com/2013/03/r-i-p-wilfried-knight">Wilfried Knight</a> had taken his life, overwhelmed with<br />
grief over the suicide of his husband, Jerry Enriquez, a couple of weeks ago.<br />
<br />
On March 3rd, 2013, Wilfried <a href="http://wilfried-knight.net/?p=822">published on his blog </a>an account of the<br />
events that led to Jerry hanging himself. Apparently Jerry’s being bullied<br />
at and then fired from a soulless organisation was enough to drive him<br />
to attempt suicide, but what sealed his fate was the loss of his Canadian<br />
visa, which meant that he and Wilfried were thrown back into a situation<br />
where no country would accept both of them as residents – basically<br />
because they were two men in love and not a man and a woman.<br />
<br />
Inevitably, some will look at Wilfried’s death in the light of the<br />
recent untimely deaths of a horribly long list of men who have performed<br />
in porn, but when it comes to the manner of their passing, porn is<br />
merely coincidental. What our lost brothers really have in common, and<br />
they have this in common with every member of our community who dies<br />
long before they should, is that they, or those around them, felt they<br />
were beyond help.<br />
<br />
<center>
<img alt="A3WvxG0CYAApkRe" src="http://manhuntdaily.com/files/A3WvxG0CYAApkRe.jpg" width="500" /></center>
<br />
This can be a hard concept to grasp without knowing more about some <br />
of the beautiful people we have lost recently, and this is where porn <br />
may be partly responsible. Who would expect a person who looks so <br />
gorgeous, is a minor celebrity in the community, gets to have hot sex <br />
all over world with stunning men and if you read his Twitter feed seems <br />
to be thrilled several times a day about it, to have felt so low and so <br />
beyond help? The fairly obvious answer is that behind every porn persona<br />
is a real person with real problems and, at times, real pain.<br />
<br />
For that matter, being able to see despair when looking at anyone in <br />
the world can be very difficult. Many of us hide our pain well. And why <br />
wouldn’t we? Sometimes it’s just that we know our friends are dealing <br />
with enough of their own problems, and we don’t want to be a burden. <br />
Other times, nothing is so unhelpful as a person who appears to seize <br />
upon our pain like a meal to feed their own sense of usefulness. So <br />
instead of answering the question, <i>‘How are you?’</i> with ‘<i>Pretty shit </i><br />
<i>really’</i>, we often say, <i>‘Fine, thanks’</i>.<br />
<br />
At the same time, we all know someone who may be doing their best to <br />
hide their pain, but who is clearly a hot mess, and we either don’t know<br />
where to begin with them or we’ve tried and nearly or actually given up<br />
trying to find a successful approach. Believe me, I know.<br />
<br />
As in all things, doing nothing is the easiest thing to do, but if we<br />
do nothing then nothing is going to change, and it won’t be long before<br />
we’re either reading about the loss of another beautiful soul or, <br />
worse, hearing about a friend who just gave up.<br />
<br />
We need to learn to be better at being there for each other. We need <br />
to learn to be better at helping brothers and sisters who are in pain, <br />
whether they are simply grieving or are deeply fucked up by this crazy <br />
world, and we need to learn how to shine a light to guide them out of <br />
the dark.<br />
<br />
Above all, we need to dispose of our own concept of ‘beyond help’ and<br />
not give up doing whatever we can to be there for those who are hurting<br />
– to the last.<br />
<br />
I admit, this is easier said than done. Aside from how complex and <br />
widespread are the hardest problems, like mental health and drug <br />
addiction, and how few effective resources are available to help with <br />
them, I know that finding the right balance between imposing on someone <br />
and supporting them is very tricky. But to be honest, before we’re even <br />
confronted with any of those problems, I think most of us get stuck on <br />
the question <i>‘What can I do?’</i><br />
<br />
The thing is, if you’re just asking yourself that question, you’re <br />
asking the wrong person. Ask that question of that person who you think <br />
might need your help. They might tell you there is nothing you can do, <br />
but just knowing someone cares could make all the difference to them.<br />
<br />
No-one who did not contribute to their pain should feel responsible <br />
for a decision someone else makes to take their own life, and I respect <br />
the prerogative of anyone who makes that decision, but no-one should be <br />
lost because they do not have the support that could have held them <br />
through dark times to much better ones.<br />
<br />
I don’t know it would have made the critical difference if I had been<br />
aware of Wilfried’s bereavement and offered him my support, but from <br />
the short time I spent with him in October last year, he struck me as a <br />
man who embraced life and had ambitions for the future. I’m sure that <br />
his closest friends did all they could to support him, but it appears he<br />
needed more to see him through his grief.<br />
<br />
It goes without saying we should do everything we can to not leave <br />
anyone in our community that way. What needs to be said, though I can’t <br />
speak for everyone, is that when it comes to other people’s pain, I <br />
think most of us could do more. Too many people I know in London are <br />
living far too close to the edge without a safety line. I think it’s a <br />
safe bet the same is true in many more cities around the world.<br />
<br />
From the sound of it, even if Wilfried and Jerry hadn’t lost their <br />
visas to live in Canada, they still would have needed a lot of support <br />
to get through a very tough time, but there’s a good chance that neither<br />
of them would have felt so helpless if same-sex couples had had the <br />
same rights and respect as straight couples.<br />
<br />
Over 100 years have passed since Oscar Wilde’s life was destroyed by a<br />
community that would not give him the freedom to be with the person he <br />
loved. Sadly, I doubt Wilfried will be the last beautiful man who dies <br />
as a result of the inequalities gay men and women face, but losing him <br />
doesn’t have to be a total waste if the strength of his love inspires us<br />
to fight harder to end the INSANITY of laws everywhere in the world <br />
that prevent same-sex lovers from living together in either one of their<br />
home countries.<br />
<br />
You aren’t the only ones who need to do this but, my American brothers, please make more noise and FIGHT! Share these links:<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-YCdcnf_P8" rel="lightbox[auto_group2]" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-YCdcnf_P8</a><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LiLNVYjOAI&feature=player_embedded" rel="lightbox[auto_group2]" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LiLNVYjOAI</a><br />
<br />
Support the campaign:<br />
<a href="http://www.respectformarriage.org/" target="_blank">http://www.respectformarriage.org</a><br />
<br />
And have that uncomfortable argument with your straight friends and <br />
relatives. Let Wilfried inspire you to fight harder to change the world,<br />
then remember him and celebrate in his memory when we win. I think I <br />
knew him well enough to say he would like that.<br />
<br />
You may also like to help prevent teen suicides by donating to:<br />
<a href="http://www.thetrevorproject.org/" target="_blank">http://www.thetrevorproject.org/</a><br />
<br />
And finally, believe me and try to remember, whether it’s for <br />
yourself or someone who you know is in a bad way, now or in the future. <br />
There is no such thing as beyond help.<br />
<br />
<br />
— <b>Dolan Wolf</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<hr />
<a href="http://jessejackman.xxx/2013/03/14/no-such-thing-as-beyond-help/">JesseJackman.xxx | No Such Thing As Beyond Help</a>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-44418891837148314562014-03-05T18:47:00.004-05:002014-03-05T18:48:22.437-05:00Excerpt - Khalil Gibran - The Prophet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRDYU2TQrRgnfgicnU3wmVYgmVRsbHpEFxXb5ZFrUkCWungEaMkNn3bEVqy_W1yT4CD1IpROm9xZ96y9-o71kmpKVNej-VnXSfbbsiOysC25y3XOJKd2TBeV5wZKj9wQ_xf5elKm4faych/s1600/Loud-and-Nasty-Nice-Kiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRDYU2TQrRgnfgicnU3wmVYgmVRsbHpEFxXb5ZFrUkCWungEaMkNn3bEVqy_W1yT4CD1IpROm9xZ96y9-o71kmpKVNej-VnXSfbbsiOysC25y3XOJKd2TBeV5wZKj9wQ_xf5elKm4faych/s1600/Loud-and-Nasty-Nice-Kiss.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.<br />
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.<br />
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.<br />
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,<br />
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.<br />
Love one another but make not a bond of love:<br />
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.<br />
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.<br />
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.<br />
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,<br />
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.<br />
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.<br />
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.<br />
And stand together, yet not too near together:<br />
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,<br />
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://jessejackman.xxx/category/my-porn-romance/">http://jessejackman.xxx/category/my-porn-romance/</a>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-62640219541287429912014-03-01T22:14:00.002-05:002014-03-02T12:26:09.633-05:00Re: Submissives Seeking The One<div dir="ltr" id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1796">
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1823">
I completely agree with this message!</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1859">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1822">
I too have looked in ABS's, CL, SD and other various ways for hot Daddies to suck and have been successful on occasions.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1821">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1801">
Not long ago I asked a
neighbor to pitch in in order to rebuild a mutual fence between our
properties. He quickly agreed since I offered to do all of the labor. As
it urned out he also had some work to be done in his yard on a wooden
deck and fence. I also agreed to help with that if he would assist.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1800">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1802">
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Once
the project got started, his job took a sudden upswing and caused him
to work longer hours and even to be away for a few days. I continued
with the work and he was only able to assist twice. I did not mind
because I understood very well what situations like that are like.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1803">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1820">
On
the last day of the project, I was cleaning up when he came home and
quickly apologized and thanked me for everything that I did. We finished
up and he then asked me to come inside his house and he would open a
couple of beers. I might add now that he is a divorced guy, good
looking, was 42 at the time, but looked 25. He is also very well built
and big since he was a former line backer in college and even had a
short career with an NFL team until he had a serious leg injury that
cancelled his future there. Of course he also happens to be Black.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1898">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1804">
Once
we were inside and he opened two beers, we sat down in his very nice
and beautiful living room to chat. We discussed many things including
how grateful he was for all that I did for him. He then asked if I would
wait for him since he wanted to change out of his suit. I said sure and
he brought me another beer before he left. It only took him a couple of
minutes and was back wearing some sweat pants and a t-shirt.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1864">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1799">
We
soon had at least 3 beers each and I was feeling good when he said that
he would order some Chinese food since I had already told him that my
wife was out of town. He then said that he was out of beer, but opened
up a bottle of Tequila since he knew I loved that. We had a couple of
shots and the food arrived. We soon finished and had another shot of
tequila. I was soon telling him that I had seen some of the HOT girls
he brought home and said that he was one lucky guy. He agreed and said
that I was not a bad looking guy either and that he knew I could catch a
few if I wasn't married. I laughed and said that I would take
"anything" I could get to which he replied back... "ANYTHING"? I said
yes and he then grabbed his crotch and said... "how about this". I did
answer right away since I saw how big that bulge was and got a little
shy. He then came over to me and put his arm around me and said that he
was sorry that he made me feel ass I did. I told him it was OK and then
he said..."Really"? I actually meant it in an innocent way, but he
hugged me some more and then kissed me. I did not pull away but rather
kissed him right back sine his lips felt GREAT! Soon he touched my
nipples and I got very excited and wanted more. He then pulled away from
me and unbuttoned my jeans, hugged me again and started to kiss me.
Soon he stuck his hand in my pants and felt my ass. Then he inserted a
finger in my hole and I was a goner!!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1805">
We did this for
a long time and he soon pulled away again and told me to take off my
clothes. I was so hot and horny by then that I actually started taking
them off before he even started to tell me to do so. He did the same and
I could not believe how absolutely beautiful he was. I had to look at
him all over and admire his fantastic body. I then focused on his
gorgeous big fat dick and almost fainted from the excitement.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1865">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1877">
He then came towards me and started to kiss me again. I was so excited and in HEAT that I truly felt like a girl!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1819">
He
kept kissing me and squeezing my ass cheeks and even fingered my hole
some more. I had a hold of his rock hard dick and was simply shaking and
moaning as he kissed me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1795">
I then broke
away and asked him if I could use his bathroom to take a shower and
clean up, including my asshole since both of us knew he was going to
fuck me.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1806">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1807">
We
both went into his bathroom and into the shower and he brought an enema
bag with him. It was very hard to shower and get cleaned up because I
wanted to suck his dick badly. </div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1866">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1808">
Once
we completed the shower and clean out, we did not even dry off and went
straight to his bedroom. I finally got to suck his cock as we both
laid down and I could not get it all in since he was so big.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1901">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1899">
After
a long time of licking and sucking his cock and balls, he could take no
more and turned my on back, put a pillow under my ass and proceeded to
rub some kind of cream into my hole. He then put some on his cock and
told me that he wanted me bareback and since I was married, knew I was
safe. He said that he was safe too and had not fucked a guy in
over several years and was tested recently due to a minor surgical
procedure.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1900">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1809">
I
soon had his huge dick right at my hole and felt his big head rubbing
all around. I was kissing him as he was moaning and pumping slowly. I
could take no more and begged him to shove his dick in me and fuck me
hard. He finally did shove just the head in to see what my reaction
would be. I moaned slightly, but much to my surprise felt only little
pain and told him to please fuck the shit out of me. He still hesitated
but began to slowly give me all his beautiful dick. Once he hit bottom
and could see that I was OK, he then began to fuck in and out slowly. I
grabbed his ass cheeks and told him, again, to fuck me hard and make me
his bitch. I was so hot and horny that I simply wanted to be fucked as
hard as possible. He then told me ok and did as I requested. He fucked
me for at least one hour since he would stop or slow down in order not
to cum too soon.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1867">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1903">
That night I spent the night with him since my wife was not home and we fucked and sucked almost the entire night.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1902">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1810">
I
confessed my love and lust to him and begged him to please let me be
his "bitch" whenever he wanted. He agreed and told me since I was so
nice to him that he would give me whatever I wanted and as often as I
wanted. He also said that it would be nice to have someone like me next
door to help him out whenever he was horny.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1873">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1872">
This
dear friend fucked my at least 2 to 4 times a week and I loved sucking
that big dick, which I was finally able to take completely into my
throat.</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1868">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1871">
He moved away, but we still get together often for some very wild and nasty times even though he is now married. </div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1871">
</div>
<div id="yui_3_14_0_1_1393728112774_1871">
carbutler2009 <bayguy1646@gmail.com></div>
</div>
Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-88106420120883997482014-03-01T21:52:00.002-05:002015-07-12T00:49:53.497-04:00Submissives Seeking The One<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Submissives Seeking The One</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Many times I have suggested to submissive males seeking to find The One that that search will be about as fruitful as any search for Mr. Right is--probably not going to be very successful, because you are starting out with an image and perhaps a set of characteristics that prejudge your search. Fact is, you won't be able to tell if he's the man for you to serve until you start serving him.</span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Find men in your neighborhood to serve. Doesn't have to be sexual at all. Make yourself useful to your male neighbors. Perform service. Help out. When they ask why, just say you enjoy helping out. Helping out puts you in the place you want to be and puts you in relation to another man. Some number of them may decide it's safe and enjoyable to use you for other things.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You will probably not find the man you want in a bar. You might, but I certainly wouldn't limit my search to finding a man to serve by just going to bars. You may get used occasionally for service, and that's okay I suppose, but the point is to put yourself on the lookout for opportunities to serve men. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Servicing the needs of a man is what turns your crank, if you have slave potential. It's not that you have to force yourself to offer service; service is something you wish to offer in your very nature as a submissive male. That doesn't mean you don't value yourself at all; quite the contrary. But most men do not offer service to other men freely, and you will, so that difference marks you as special and men will pick up on that.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As you get in the habit of offering service to men, you will come across more opportunities and therefore increase the chances you will find a man who will appreciate the service you offer, and that service may well include sexual service.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Most men, especially if they are not queer, are horny virtually all the time, since they do not have women in their lives who offer sex to them at anywhere the level they require and prefer. Married men are among the most horny--virtually enforced chastity. Creating situations where they come in contact with you in socially legitimate settings may increase the chances they will use you and may even put you in contact with other men who will use you. Over time you will develop a keen eye and an appreciation for the real men in your orbit and you make yourself more useful to likely prospects.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are queer men who may already be in a relationship with an equal, but need a cum dump on a regular basis, either as part of their relationship or as an add-on. It will be very rare indeed that in a queer couple both partners are mutually satisfied sexually, which is why so often these relationships are sexually "open". You may be able to function as a slave to a queer couple, providing all sorts of extra service, from cleaning the house, to laundry, to mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool, and also providing some a clean slave hole, or possibly even an animated dildo, for either of the partners to use for his pleasure.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So you may very well find an entirely new way to express your need to offer service rather than just in the way you may have first considered. Keep open to the many and varied possibilities. Let your hopeful anticipations be springboards to service rather than excuses for avoiding engagement.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Psychmstr</span></span>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-53470548237480071192014-03-01T16:37:00.004-05:002021-12-27T18:38:40.928-05:00The Joy of Rimming<span style="font-family: arial;">The Joy of Rimming<br />
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Of all of the possible sexual acts between two men, I think that rimming is the most intimate and for some, such as myself, the most satisfying. Few pleasures can match the mixture of taste, sensation and emotional experience that is rimming. In the following paragraphs I will try to explain some of the techniques that I have learned and experiences I have had over more than twenty years of engaging in this pleasure.</span><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: arial;">EARLY YEARS<br />
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At 21 I licked the ass of the second man I had sex with (I was a late bloomer). I remember him asking me if I liked that kind of thing. I responded with an emphatic "Yes", although I had never done it before. I was not sure why I would like it, but was sure I did. Over the next several years, like many gay men, licking ass became part of my standard repertoire of sexual acts that I practiced in pleasuring other men. It was always appreciated, but rarely reciprocated. On the rare occasions when it was, I enjoyed it immensely, but over time I came to recognize that my usual role in sex would be that of pleasure giver rather than receiver. I found I had natural skills in the art of rimming and enjoyed the power I felt in knowing I was creating sensations for my partner that he would rarely experience elsewhere.<br />
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It was not until my early thirties while I was a massage therapist in San Fransisco and the number of opportunities to please men with my tongue increased dramatically, that I found I could go beyond simple licking.<br />
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I found that with some men (and all men's bodies are different) you could suck in the area around the anus, nibble and even chew on it. Once during a general discussion about sex a gay friend of mine said to me, "I am not impressed with men who lick, I only like the ones who chew." We had never had sex together and it took me a few minutes to figure out what he was talking about. Then I thought "if he only knew what I could do for you" but he was not attracted to me, so that was that.<br />
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Remarkably, the anus unlike the head of the penis rarely gets sore or over-sensitized from use. I found that after awhile many men's asses would relax and it was possible to insert my tongue inside the entrance to the rectum. This was a revelation. Men had always enjoyed being licked, but I found I could literally drive men wild with my tongue inside their rectum. <br />
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More discoveries followed. I discovered tongue fucking. I discovered how, after a while, some men would relax so much that I could work my entire tongue all the way inside (and I have a big tongue). After a couple of years I found I was able to wiggle my tongue while inside. That will drive even the quietest man to call out" Oh God", "Oh Fuck" or to make animals noises that they have never made before in their lives. This is power. <br />
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As someone who had engaged in just about every possible type of oral and anal sex, I had never felt that kind of power before. I say I was placed on Earth to make men moan and call out to their maker. Eventually I discovered many positions and techniques, some inspired by porno films, others simply stumbled upon, so to speak. <br />
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Eventually I found that the anus could become so relaxed that it gave no resistance at all and I could achieve the ultimate in rimming, The Full Tongue Length Inside Swirl. One of the greatest achievements of my life. I developed a natural rhythm of light flicks, deep tonguing, cock and ball licking (I pull the balls down near the anus first and lick from the anus to the balls and back a few times, then I pull the cock down and lick from the anus up to the balls and over and around the head of the cock and back down again. I call that the Triple Whammy), gentle (or vigorous, depending on the person) biting, sucking and chewing on the anus, and vigorous tongue fucking. I frequently change the motion and pressure so that one area doesn't become over stimulated and lose sensation and my partner doesn't become bored. I call this Tongue Dancing.<br />
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I found that position is very important and I found my massage table to be the perfect rimming tool. Strong and easily moved, I eventually found one of my favorite position with the table. <br />
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I sit on a pillow with my back against an empty wall. I pull the narrow end of the massage table up to my chest and then have my partner lie on his back with his feet against the wall and his butt right in my face. My hands are free to jack off, play with my nipples or his, or snort poppers (and sitting up is the safest position for that) , my back is supported and as long as my partner's legs aren't too long (tall guys may eventually get leg cramps, shorter guys can last for hours), I find I can get pretty good penetration and have the longest sessions, (three hours at one sitting is the record) over any other position. I call this Wall Time. When I think I have someone who can really get into having their ass eaten, I ask, "Want to do some Wall Time?" More on positions later.<br />
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THE OTHER USE OF THE TONGUE<br />
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Two of the other things about rimming that really enhance the experience for me are visual and aural rather than oral. I love to have my partners watch me while I rim them. I love the dreamy look they get, then there is the look of surprise when you do something that you have never done before (and I am always discovering new things) or you have purposely held back from just for this moment . . . . When I am doing Wall Time, I prop up the guys head and shoulders with pillows. You can use mirrors in other positions. Many guys will simply close their eyes when being rimmed. I know I do. That is OK because there is always aural sex. I love the moans, heavy breathing and other sounds men make when they are having good sex and nothing brings out the vocal talents of most men than having a tongue up their ass. I especially love those rare men for whom being sexually turned on, turns on their need to express themselves verbally.<br />
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I don't like to be verbally abused. I once told a guy I was rimming, who started calling me a slut and a mother fucker, that he was simply hurting my feelings, rather than turn me on, and I was going to kick his ass rather than lick it, if he didn't stop.<br />
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I like guys to tell me how good it feels and offer words of encouragement, like "Yeah, eat my fuckin' butt, man!" My favorite was a guy in SF who used to croon, "Yeah, make love to my hole, man. Make love to that fuckin' ass". How could I refuse such a lovely request?<br />
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When I am rimming, I work for 5 or 6 minutes straight, then take a minute or two to take a hit of poppers, ask how it feels (if he isn't moaning or telling me), ask about the guy's other rimming experiences, if any and relate some of mine (like the fact that I once knocked myself unconscious while tongue fucking a guy). <br />
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I like to laugh and sex is no different, so I relate silly stories like that. I will tell him how good he tastes and how turned on I am by that. If a guy is inexperienced (and most of mine are at first), after chewing on his anus for awhile I will tell him that this is why it is called ass eating, not ass licking. I am not a great talker when I am getting rimmed "Oh Fuck" and "Oh God" or just "Oh" are the most articulate things that come out of my mouth. <br />
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I personally don't really start to moan a lot until I am in total ecstasy, but I encourage those that are not talkers to let any noises out, not hold them back. My neighbors are used to hearing all the noise from my bedroom. The ultimate experience is rimming a nice looking guy with a tasty butt who talks and moans while watching me rim him. I have only experienced this once. A MATTER OF TASTE.<br />
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The anus and the rectum are mucus membranes just like the head of a cock. This is why butt tastes so good and why every man tastes different. The most delicious man I ever rimmed asked me what it tasted like, since he had never rimmed anyone and had no desire to do so. I told him rimming him was like sucking cock and eating vanilla ice cream at the same time and it was. My most frequent rimming buddy tastes different, musky, more like raw mushrooms, but still delicious. Because the body produces similar chemicals in both the anus and the head of the cock, if you find a man with a delicious cock you most likely have found a man with a delicious ass. The inside of the rectum, again another mucus membrane, tastes a little different because of the lubricating juices that the rectum produces. Different men produce differing amounts of this juice. Some men gush with it.<br />
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For me a man's ass has to be clean as a whistle. I like a man right out of the shower. To me eating a stinky, sweaty butt would be like kissing someone with really bad breath on purpose, but that is a matter of personal taste. Since I am strongly opposed to scat for both aesthetic and health reasons, I will not mention it further.<br />
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HAIR PIE? My personal preference is for a smooth, hairless butt crack (I prefer smooth to hairy men in general). But I know many ass eaters out there will disagree, they like the look and feel of body hair. I feel that a smooth ass crack is more sensitive. To that end, if my partner is comfortable with it, I love to shave a man's ass crack before I eat it. The only problem is that he has to take a shower after the shave,because it is hard to get every smidgen of shave cream off and nothing tastes less sexy than soap, but as I said I love a man fresh from the shower.<br />
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A TASTE OF HONEY<br />
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There are also foods that are classic rimming accessories, such as whipped cream and honey. Some like ripe bananas. I have used ice cubes, jam, ice cream and chocolate syrup on a man's ass while eating it. They are great as a change of pace but can't take the place of the taste of a hot man's ass. <br />
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P A system (positions and angles)<br />
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Rimming can probably be done in as many positions as yoga, but the first thing you must understand is that the anus is not in exactly the same place on every man. Some are closer to the balls, some are farther away and this will determine the best position for different types of rimming. <br />
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You can give a man a quick lick up the butt crack with him standing upright and legs slightly apart or only slightly bent at the waist. You will often see this position used in porno films when one guy is sucking a man's cock and one is licking his ass. <br />
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Don't make the mistake off thinking that all or even most of the positions you see in porno films are comfortable or even usable on average Joe. The three most frequently used positions for rimming are with the rimmee on his back and his legs in the air in one fashion or another, with the rimmee on his hands and knees, or with the rimmer on his back and the rimmee squatting over his face. <br />
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In reality, unless the guy you are rimming is fairly petite or extremely agile you can suffocate with a man sitting on your face. Some guys like the sensation of being smothered, I do not. Recently (or perhaps not so recently, the ancient Greeks and Romans may have had them for all I know) rimming chairs, the little low devices that hold the rimmee up off your face (and more importantly your nose) have come into vogue. You can buy then ready made or create your own by modifying chairs. I created one by cutting the seat out of a low beach chair (not a lawn chair) and then replacing it with a toilet seat. Many types of frames and seats can be used, but a toilet seat is the best basic component of most of them. Of course you can not snort poppers while you are on your back with your head underneath of a rim seat, but I find it so exciting that I don't really mind. My home made rim chair has been a huge hit with my rimming buddies (and the materials cost all of $18.00). One reason they like the rim seat so much is that they can sit there, watch a porno film and jack off, while I eat their ass. If I position the seat and TV correctly I can watch too. I find that I have more frequent orgasms with my partners when I use the rim seat, because I can jack off freely too.<br />
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I am told that slings are great too, but I'm not allowed to put holes in the ceiling where I live. If you want long, languid rimming sessions, both you and the guy you are rimming need to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible. I always have a glass of water or soda within arms reach,(rimming can be thirsty work), my poppers of course and a towel to wipe my face (rimming can be sloppy work as well and I tend to chap otherwise). It's great for sweat too, and if you should come while working on that ass, well there you are, easy clean up. <br />
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Find a position that is comfortable for both of you. The best position will be determined by the exact size of your partner and exactly where his butt hole is. Some positions that I recently discovered are what I call The Ultimate Penetration Position and The Princess and the Pea Positions. The Ultimate Penetration Position is on the hands and knees. I have a low bed, so I have my partner place his knees on a couple of stacked pillows at the edge of the bed, head down, with his arms folded. This puts his head as low as possible and his butt pointing straight up. I then pull up an ottoman up to the side of the bed and rest my upper body on it and position my head above my partner's butt hole. I can then just stick out my tongue, lean forward and let gravity and the weight of my upper body drive my tongue straight into my partner's butt hole. My tongue will glide slowly but continuously to the point where my entire tongue is inside my partner. I love the gliding sensation on my tongue so I call this type of Penetration' The Glide'. <br />
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Once deep inside, I can wiggle the tip of my tongue or move it in circles. This will open up my partner's butt hole to the point where all resistance is gone. I call this condition 'Good Sloppy'. The other position that I discovered is with my partner on his back. I pile up some bed pillows at the edge of the bed (when I did this before rimming my buddy Chris he said that it reminded him of the pile of mattresses in the story of the Princess and the Pea). This is what I named this position). <br />
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I have my partner sit on the edge of the pile of pillows and slowly roll backwards (a wedge shaped foam pillow can be used instead of a pile of bed pillows). This sends his butt into the air with the pillows for support. Again I pull up an ottoman and rest the weight of my upper body on it and position my head directly over my partner's butt and again let gravity drive my tongue straight into his hole. I have found that this is an easy position for men to stay in for some time. The ideal rimming position should also allow you to jack off freely, neither of the above mentioned positions does, but I like them anyway. I can always come in a different position. <br />
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HOLD STILL PLEASE<br />
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I personally prefer, at least in the first half hour or so, if my partner just lies back and lets me do all of the work. That way I can show him my talents (if I have not done so before) and can later ask if he has any requests for more of a particular technique. Not too surprisingly most guys say they love it all. But some guys just can't sit still while you rim them. They have to rub their ass in you face and buck and roll like mad a pony. I appreciate the enthusiasm but that is not my favorite way to eat ass. You may love it however. <br />
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I recently was rimming a young man in Wall Time position when he grabbed my head with his feet(probably can pick socks up off of the floor with his toes too) and proceeded to fuck himself on my tongue. It was wild and I did not mind too much. I later said that he must have had a lot of experience to be able to do that, but he said no, that it was his first time being rimmed, but that he had fantasized about it a lot (and probably watching a lot of porno for inspiration). <br />
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Generally I like to do the work and have partner just lie still and make noises. After all, how can I use all of my talents if the other guy is using my tongue as a dildo? I usually only allow my favorite partners to do that, and only for a limited time. This is why I have never purchased a Joy Rider. The idea of lying for hours with my tongue fully extended while someone bounces up and down on it does not really appeal to me.<br />
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But if a man is sitting on my face, nothing turns me on more than to have him rub his butt hole up and down my tongue. But you need very strong legs or very strong drugs to be able to do that for more than a few minutes. I can create a similar effect by rocking forward and backward with my tongue on my partner's hole, while lying on my back under my rim seat, but one of my most fervent wishes is for someone to create a rim seat that glides forward and backward, a Joy Glider! Anyone good with tools? <br />
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ROUTE 69<br />
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One of the things you will see in porno films is 69 rimming, two guys rimming each other at the same time. It looks great on film, but is very hard to do and is one of those things such as cock sucking 69, that sound better than they feel. It is very hard to fully enjoy all of the sensations your partner is creating for you while concentrating on creating similar sensations for him. <br />
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But there is a psychological thrill in such immediate reciprocity. I like to eat a guys ass while he sucks me, (which is usually easier). It seems the least I can do, since he is being so generous to me, but I have to admit that it feels better when I just lie back and let him suck me. Like I said there are psychological pleasures as well as physical ones involved in sex. <br />
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My best fuck buddy likes to sit on my face and let me get my tongue deep inside of him for a minute or two and then lean forward and suck my cock for a few minutes. When he leans forward, he lifts his butt up off of my tongue a little. He rocks back and forth like that for ten or fifteen minutes. It is a perfect compromise between 69ing and turnabout, (taking turns). I find it super hot. <br />
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It would seem that only the young or double jointed could ever hold some of the positions you see porno directors getting their actors into. But is there hope for the less than athletic, the over 30 and those who have not practiced yoga for years? Yes, you too can enjoy hours of rimming pleasure with the above mentioned rimming chairs, my Wall Time, Ultimate Penetration and Princess and the Pea positions or with a sling! <br />
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ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER<br />
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In many porno flicks you will see three or more guys rimming one another. A classic is the five way ass eat in the Kristen Bjorn epic "Thick as Thieves". <br />
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In reality even in three way situation not all of the people involved will be rimming at the same time. Another classic scene is from the bi film" Innocence Lost" with Eric Manchester. He and another guy and a girl go into an all night grocery store. The girl sits naked among the produce with Manchester standing naked in front of her. The third guy is kneeling behind Manchester tonguing his ass. Manchester smashes open a watermelon and the girl takes the pulp and squeezes juice all over herself. Manchester starts licking it off of her breasts. Then the girl reaches over Manchester's shoulder and squeezes juice and bits of fruit down his back into the waiting mouth of the guy rimming him. It is a very memorable scene for me (I love watermelon). <br />
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Some day I am going to remake that scene with three guys. Needless to say they made an awful mess. <br />
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My point is that you can't take what you see in porno as a template for your own sex life. It can give you a hell of a lot of ideas though. Three way sex can be great or it can be awful, it just depends on the people involved. The more people involved, the more likely someone is going to be having a bad day or be jealous or not attracted to all of the other people involved. I personally prefer one on one, but then if two porno stars invite me to have sex with them I'm not going to say no either. Sometimes you take what is offered. Having an extra guy to hold your feet in the air while the other guy eats your ass can eliminate the need for all of that costly equipment.<br />
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OH HOLY KNIGHT<br />
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If you kiss someone's butt cheeks, have you rimmed him? Does the perineum count? Does a quick lick up the butt crack count? My answer to all of them is yes. For me rimming involves the use of the mouth on anything below the balls in front and below the small of the back behind. You can rim through briefs, around a thong or jockstrap, even through jeans, whatever you and your partner think is exciting. I once had a guy come to me wearing very holy underpants (this was planned ahead of time). I rimmed him through the briefs, then through the holes, then tore them off with my teeth and really got to it. It was very hot.<br />
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STROKE, STROKE, STROKE<br />
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The most frequently seen stroke in rimming is the broad tongued lick up and down the butt crack. This usually occurs as a continuation of oral sex starting with the cock, proceeding to the balls and then down the perineum and into the ass crack (or gluteal cleavage as we had to call it in massage school). <br />
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Once in the area the usual focus is long strokes of the tongue up and down over the anus. A lovely way to start,but unfortunately that is also were it ends with most guys. I have had hundreds of men tell me that is all they have ever experienced of ass eating. Well not after they meet me! As I wrote earlier that is how I started but I soon learned that other things could be achieved. I started by changing from up and down strokes to back and forth strokes. I then proceeded to circular strokes, first around the area just outside of the anus, then over the anus itself. A variation of the basic lick is to very slowly and forcefully drag the tongue up and down over the anus or go only in one direction.<br />
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A long time ago I was taught a tongue technique of sticking the tongue out stiffly and shaking the head as if to say NO rapidly. It works great on balls, perineum, or anus. I learned another technique from a sex partner about ten years ago which he applied only to the nipples. I extended it to the back of the cock shaft and head as well as the anus. This involves flicking the tip of the tongue up and down rapidly inside the mouth. Naturally whatever you are working on has to be inside the mouth; nipple, back of the head of the cock, or anus. Later I learned to flick the tongue off of the roof of the mouth and strike the anus inside the mouth with force, creating a strong vibration.<br />
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By starting to nibble on the perineum (the area just below the balls) and working down I found that most men love to have their butt hole chewed on, some lightly, some very strongly. This is when I found that with most men you can actually take that whole area around the anus and the anus itself into the mouth and suck and chew on it. Different men will have differing amounts of pliability in this area. Some are very tight and you can't suck on them at all, others have very soft succulent flesh around the anus (obviously my fave rave) not to mention the flaps or lips that some men have around the anus. Not so beautiful, but fun to chew. When fully relaxed, some men's butt holes will look swollen and purplish due to engorgement with blood. My rimming buddy Chris (who named the Princess and the Pea position) calls this condition 'monkey butt', because it resembles the swollen genitals of female monkeys in heat. Although not very pretty, it is my favorite way to see a man's butt, because it means he must be enjoying what I am doing to him. It is more likely to happen when the rimmee is sitting (as on a rim seat) because gravity pulls the blood downward or when you are sucking on the anus. Some men never get this swelling, so don't worry if your partner doesn't get it.<br />
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You may find some men who have very large, muscular butt cheeks that create such a deep crack that it is difficult for your tongue to reach his butt hole. I have found the Princess and the Pea position the best to deep rim these guys in.<br />
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Some guys are very sensitive and feel pressure as pain, others feel it as pleasure. With the latter the more vigorously you suck and chew this area the more pleasurable, just remember to start out gently and work up to a frenzy if your partner is OK with it. You can suck on the anus and pull away so that your mouth pops off of it. You can do this with varying degrees of force. Again find out you partners comfort level. Then we have something that I saw in a porno film that I have used with varying degrees of receptivity. That is spiting on the anus. Some men love it and say, "Yeah man spit on my butt hole." Others just don't feel that much. Of course you have to lick the saliva up after each spit. A variation you see in videos is the poolside fountain spit. If you are in the pool or hot tub and you partner is on the pool deck with his legs in the air you can take in a mouthful of water and squirt it at his butt hole. Sounds like fun, but I have never tried it myself.<br />
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Another technique is to stiffen the tongue and pull away so that only the tip is touching the skin. Then starting anywhere on the butt cheek or crack and making a wide circle up and over the butt cheek, and down the butt crack, then up and over the other cheek, kind of a figure 8. I have always been amazed at the reactions men have to such a light touch and with most of the stroke over non mucus tissue. Almost every man loves this stroke. Speaking of a light touch, some men love little, very light, barely touching the skin, strokes on the anus. This makes a nice change of pace from the heavier strokes and lets your tongue rest a little before returning to the more strenuous stuff<br />
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Little love bites on the ass cheeks or even vigorous sucking and chewing ( depending on your man's sensitivity) are usually welcome.<br />
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Another variation of plain old licking is to spread the anus with the fingers exposing the more sensitive lining if the sphincter ring and flicking the tongue up and down or across it. After a little of this dig the tips of your fingers in a little more and spread more forcefully and do the tongue flick . I personally don't like mixing fingering the ass more than this with rimming. I know some guys are fine with it but I only finger a man's ass with lube ( I don't like being fingered much at all, give me tongue or cock). <br />
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A sphincter is a ring of muscle that closes a part of the digestive tract. You have sphincters at the top and bottom of your stomach as well as other places along the colon. The anal sphincter is the ring of muscles that closes the anus. In some men this ring of muscle is only a eighth of an inch or so thick, in other men it can be almost two inches thick. Obviously you are not going to get your tongue very far inside of an ass like that. The sphincter is actually composed of layers of muscle fiber and I have had experiences where the outermost layer of muscle relaxes easily but the innermost will not, or at least it takes longer.<br />
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I have found that the Ultimate Penetration and Princess and the Pea positions are the most effective when dealing with a butt that is reluctant to relax, because of the effects of gravity. <br />
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Tongue fucking (repeated thrusts of the head aimed directly at the anus with the tongue stiffly extended) is another great technique. I find that it does not matter much if you penetrate with the tongue, it is the vibration caused by the impact of your face hitting the person's ass cheeks that creates the pleasure. (Vibration is like a direct order to a muscle to relax. That is why a vibrator can penetrate a tight ass more easily that a cock, and vibrating chairs are so popular). <br />
<br />
When I am sitting ,eating ass in the Wall Time position my head is only a few inches from the wall. Once I was tongue fucking a guy so hard that the back of my head was banging against the wall. That is how I knocked myself unconscious for a few seconds. The guy never noticed, he was in such ecstasy. Every man I have ever tongue fucked loved it, usually the harder the better. When in Wall Time position I can grasp the sides of the table and rock it back and forth toward my face for added impact. I have to be careful though because I have knocked my jaw out of whack a couple of times (Oh the things we do for pleasure). You can also do good tongue fucking in the Ultimate Penetration Position.<br />
<br />
I have already mentioned the cock, ball and butt licking combo I call the Triple Whammy, a good way to rest your tongue a bit after vigorous tongue fucking. It also takes the total focus off of the anus for awhile which allows the nerve endings to be resupplied with neurotransmitters, preventing a decline in sensation. Besides all men love to have their cock paid attention to. If I know the guy well I will often say, "let's give Mr.Cock and Mr. Balls some attention so they don't feel left out" (it sounds silly so I only do it with people I know).<br />
<br />
Most men loose their erection when being fucked or rimmed. It is perfectly normal. I think the brain is unable to process all of the sensations from two areas at once, so it shuts one down for awhile, but when enough sexual tension has built up to approach orgasm the erection will return so the person can ejaculate. If an afternoon of ass eating is what you are after, take it pretty light and slow because vigorous ass chewing and tongue fucking can lead to early orgasm. Of course if you are under time constraints, you can speed things up by picking up the pace and use the more vigorous strokes and techniques like tongue fucking.<br />
<br />
<br />
MIXED BAG<br />
<br />
You might think from all that I have written that I do nothing but eat ass. While it is my favorite sexual activity, I love to suck and lick any part of a man. Toes, finger, ear lobes, cock, balls, nipples (I love nipples) necks, inner thighs, arm pits (without deodorant please, that is were a pre-sex shower comes in handy) you name it, I will happily suck or lick it. Despite what one would gather from Harry Sillen's wonderful films, most sex is a mixed bag, a combination of activities,sometimes in succession, sometimes in a repeated cycle.<br />
<br />
One of my more recently discovered (new to me) activities is to I have my partner on his hands and knees on the massage table, head resting on his folded arms, in yoga this is called the child position. I then reach between his legs and pull his cock backwards. How far backwards depends on how hard he is and that is often determined by how old he is. The erections of young guys can appropriately be called boners, they often are so stiff that they point at the ceiling. <br />
<br />
As men age, no matter how hard their cocks get they begin to droop toward the floor. By the time a man is 40 he may still get a very firm erection but his cock usually no longer springs away from the body. <br />
<br />
Anyway, I pull the cock backwards as far as is comfortable for the man and lick or suck the head. Then I start moving up the shaft, making little circles with the tongue as I go. When I reach the balls I lavish circular licks on them and then proceed up the perineum to the butt crack. I reverse myself and go back down to the head of the cock again. I do this a couple of times going into the ass crack a little further each time and then when I reach the butt crack the third or forth time I proceed with circular licking up and over the anus and back down again. <br />
<br />
Two parts of the joy of sex are anticipation and surprise. By repeating a stroke several times you can set up anticipation in both the person's mind and body. Once you have established a repeated pattern, you can slow down and create a wonderful agony of anticipation. Or once you have established an anticipated pattern of behavior, you can suddenly alter it and create surprise. <br />
<br />
It is this blend of psychological and physical subtleties that can take sex from the routine to the extraordinary. After tonguing my partners cock, ball and ass for awhile I turn facing away from his head, and reaching over his back I embrace his ass in a hug. This leaves my left hand free (I am right handed). I then begin lightly smacking his ass cheeks,.very gently at first but increasing in intensity. I then stop and spread his ass cheeks and lightly spank his butt hole and perineum. The purpose of spanking here has nothing to do with punishment. It is being used as a pure sensation. Depending on my partners reaction, I can judge how forceful a smack is pleasurable and not painful. I have been very surprised that about 98 percent of men I have tried this on have reacted very positively, moaning and wiggling their asses with pleasure. In this position I can also wet my right forearm with spit and rub it up and down my partner's butt crack, changing the angle of my arm on the up stroke and dragging my fingers over his balls.(something I once saw Zak Spears do in a porno film) I have found few men who do not love these techniques. Some men will like to be spanked harder than others. Judge by his reactions or simply ask how it feels. I call this position the Gentle Spanking Position.<br />
<br />
After doing these techniques for awhile, if this is the first time I have had sex with this man, I ask if he would like more. Unless he has to rush off to catch a plane he invariably says yes. <br />
<br />
It is then that I have him stand up, move the pillows into place, sit with my back against the wall, pull the massage table close to my chest and have him lie on his back with his feet against the wall. I have a cloth wall hanging on that wall to prevent foot prints and no pictures that can be accidentally knocked down and hit me in the head( I have learned the hard way). <br />
<br />
I have a routine with my most frequent sex buddy, where rather than go straight into ass eating he slips in between me and the table and I deep throat his cock for awhile( a skill I learned just last year), then when he is ready he lays back on the table , lifts his legs in to the air and I pull it close to my chest and dig into his hot ass. <br />
<br />
I often go back and forth between his cock and his ass for quite a long time,then he gets up and pulls the table aside and goes down on my cock while I am still sitting with my back against the wall ,or pulls me up and over to the bed where he sucks my cock and tits and licks my butt crack ( the only technique he knows, but hell I'm not complaining). With the majority of my partners the usual sequence of events these days is, Gentle Spanking Position, Wall Time, Ultimate Penetration, Princess and the Pea and finally the Rim Seat. <br />
<br />
<br />
SEX IS 90% IN THE BRAIN<br />
<br />
Much of the psychological pleasure of sex involves fantasy, dominance and submission. Fantasy can be a major component of masturbation. There are few attractive men that I have not fantasized about at one time or another while jacking off. Ricky Martin screams "Aye! Aye! Aye!" when I eat his butt. Tennis star Marat Safin talks dirty in Russian. The Rock raises both eye brows when I have my tongue in his ass. During actual sex I am so into the moment that I rarely fantasize, but for those in long term relationships it can become a necessity to prevent boredom. Role playing, dominance and submission can be part of fantasy. I think that almost all bondage and S&M is fantasy. I have only known one person in my life who actually enjoyed walking around with welts on his back. For most men dominance and submission are reversible roles, so that tells a lot about the reality of it.<br />
<br />
Some would say that rimming is a submissive act. It might seem so and yet I feel remarkably empowered by it for reasons I have mentioned before. I used to have fantasies while masturbating about being forced to eat a man's butt. They were fairly vague fantasies, never very specific. Twice in the early 90s I tried to enact this fantasy with men. I had one tie me up and sit on my face. Another just sat on my face and ordered my to rim him. <br />
<br />
Well, it is hard to be forced to do something that you love, so after a few very fake "No, No, No's" I realized that this was not very satisfying. Maybe I felt guilty about rimming, since it is something that the majority of people would consider kinky. When I got over my guilt those fantasies disappeared. Now I freely fantasize about rimming half the men I see, because I know from experience that it is something nearly all men love to have done to them. Recently I have met a couple of guys who like to be tied up or handcuffed while being rimmed. I tie them on their backs on my massage table with their legs in the air and rim them that way. It is pleasurable for me because it is so exciting for them. <br />
<br />
<br />
TO FUCK OR NOT TO FUCK<br />
<br />
For some, probably the majority of men, rimming is just a quick prelude to fucking, for others like me it can be the main event, the main course, if you will, of a sexual encounter. Some will find the penetration stimulating, but want even more and want to be fucked. I try to satisfy all of my partners, in whatever way I can. <br />
<br />
I can't say I love using condoms but I wouldn't fuck any other way. I don't really believe in tops and bottom, (besides if a guy is sitting on your cock isn't he the top then?) I just believe that every one is capable of doing anything they set out to do well. <br />
<br />
So if your partner wants to fuck or be fucked, you should do it to please them and they should do the same for you.(and if they won't, find another partner, the world is awash in men looking for sex with other men, remember Dr. Kinsey said that 75% of men are basically bisexual and my experience has shown me that the good Doctor was very right). <br />
<br />
The only exceptions I will allow is if your partner wants to do something blatantly unsafe (like bare backing) or involves giving or receiving pain or humiliation or crosses some major boundary such as involving others, when you object, involves excrement (shit or piss) is dangerous physically (let's have sex while sky diving) or legally (let's have sex on the front lawn in front of the neighbors). I believe that sex should be mutual, it just happens that the thing that turns me on the most is servicing other men and it doesn't bother me if they don't reciprocate(but I love it if they do) as long as they reward my efforts with vocal communication. <br />
<br />
<br />
THERE IS THE RUB<br />
<br />
I have a short full beard and many many men have commented on how good it feels against their ass. Sometimes while I give my tongue a rest (yes it is a muscle and can get fatigued, but fortunately like lifting weights, using it makes it stronger) I rub my beard up and down my partner's crack. Men seem to love it. I tell them that my beard has more uses than just to cover my double chin. I have been rimmed a few times by men who had heavy beard stubble. It was awful. I kept thinking "this would be great if he wasn't rubbing my butt raw with that sandpaper". Unless your partner is into pain make sure that you either have a soft beard or are freshly shaved when you eat ass.<br />
<br />
That brings me to another form of preparation for both kinds of anal sex, that is popular. Namely enema’s or male douching. The rectal chamber of a man with a healthy colon is usually empty (a sphincter at the end of the colon takes care of that) but because of poor eating habits or other reasons that sphincter may fail to do it's job, so many men, myself included, feel more fresh and confident (sounds like a feminine product commercial ) if they clean the area with water (enema, male douche) before having any kind of anal sex. <br />
<br />
This is a personal choice of course. My personal experience has been that if a man does not love to be rimmed it is usually because of insecurities in the hygiene area. A male douche can eliminate this. Of course I am not recommending the garden hose enemas that are featured in some porno films, they can not be good for the delicate lining of the rectum, but enema bags, bulb syringes and other enema devices are available at all drug stores. Check the package for instructions. <br />
<br />
I personally feel more comfortable when getting fucked if I do a douche right before. Of course all of these preparations presupposes that you are planing ahead to have sex. For those times when sexual opportunity arises unexpectedly, in unexpected places, penetration carries some risk. That will be a matter of personal discretion. I personally would never would pull a total strangers jeans down in an dark ally and start tonguing his butt crack, the way you see in porno films, but maybe I am an unusually finicky ass eater. <br />
<br />
<br />
RISKS<br />
<br />
This is probably a good place to talk about the possible dangers of eating men's asses. HIV is transmitted through blood or semen. Unless the man has bleeding hemorrhoids (and that can happen) or has been fucked very recently (vigorous fucking can cause small tears in the lining of the rectum, a major reason unprotected anal sex is the # 1 method of HIV transmission in gay men) blood is unlikely to be encountered when eating ass (I don't think I need to tell you not to bite hard enough to draw blood, do I ?) Unless your partner has just been fucked ,you will never encounter semen either. So the danger of HIV transmission is very low, probably lower that sucking cock. But since I rarely have sex without sucking cock I follow the guidelines for safer oral sex in general;<br />
<br />
Never have oral sex less than two hours after brushing your teeth (brushing causes micro tears on the gums)<br />
<br />
and never have oral sex while suffering from gum disease, especially bleeding gums, a danger to both you and your partner, or if you have had oral surgery recently. Any opening in the gums or lining of the mouth is a potential doorway for infectious agents into the body. Use your head and consider any risks. You can not enjoy eating ass if you are dead.<br />
<br />
For those who want some semblance of rimming with no risks, use a dental dam or cellophane between your mouth and your partners anus. Kissing and licking the ass outside of the butt crack as well as sucking the balls should be safe.<br />
<br />
The real risks of rimming are hepatitis and intestinal parasites, now even cholera. There are vaccines for Hepatitis A and B. I have been inoculated against hepatitis B and had A back in the 80's (from eating in a restaurant not from rimming), so my only danger is from Hepatitis C. <br />
<br />
At the moment I don't know of any protection from it, but you can contract C several ways other than rimming. I have had intestinal parasites three times in the last twenty years, all easily treated. I have also gotten nonspecific urethritis and crabs three times each, from sucking cock. There are risks in everything, decide which ones you are willing to take. Sex is one of the essential joys of life and for me rimming is an essential joy of sex. I have chosen to minimize the risks rather than try to avoid them completely.<br />
<br />
<br />
IN CLOSING<br />
<br />
To me sex is one of the essential joys of life and rimming is one of the essential joys of sex. A buddy of mine once told me that he thought that if very man in the world was rimmed for just half an hour every day, there would be no war or violent crime because it has such a relaxing, stress reducing effect. So I have made this my motto<br />
<br />
Peace Through Rimming<br />
<br />
___________________+<br />
<br />
Reprinted by PsychMstr</span>Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-68783243947951308092014-03-01T16:32:00.001-05:002014-03-02T12:28:07.170-05:00Reflections of a Handball TopReflections on the Responsibilities of a Handball Top<br />
By Fritz from New York (nycfritz@bellatlantic.net)<br />
<br />
Handball, or fisting, is one of the most sensual and intense of any of the sexual activities in the Levi/Leather/Fetish arena. A well-played handball scene, between two men who are turned on to each other and communicating, can be as exciting as anything in the Kama Sutra. For some men, it’s part of a master/slave S&M scene, for some, it’s a Daddy/Son thing, but for many, it’s just good hot piggy sex.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>I am an experienced Handball top. I’m in my fifties, and had my first fist experience in my twenties, shortly after I moved to New York. I have been versatile, and have enjoyed fisting and being fisted, but for a long time now, I have been exclusively a top. That isn’t a dominance trip; it’s simply what I prefer. For me, handball is more than just one man shoving his hands or arms into another man’s hole. It’s a lot more than that. To be safe, and in my opinion, to be fun and exciting, it requires some knowledge of what you are doing, and a lot of mutual trust and respect. Handball is all about trust, guys. I'm writing as a top, and I thank any gods who will listen that there are bottoms out there willing to play with me, but they are putting themselves in (or more literally, on) my hands, and I take that trust very seriously.<br />
<br />
I was at a very hot handball party in New Orleans recently, with a lot of buddies I know well, and some new friends I was getting to know, when a hot guy arrived who most of us didn't know. Blonde, blue-collar type, someone said he was a truck driver. He was a nice friendly guy, and very sexy. He got a buddy of mine from Florida into a sling, and it looked like they were having a good time. When the scene was over, however, he just pulled out, handed my pal a couple of paper towels, only because he had asked for them, and walked away. A very good friend of mine from Los Angeles caught him in the kitchen and, nicely but firmly, gave him a much-needed lesson in FF etiquette.<br />
<br />
The trust works both ways: I trust the bottom to communicate with me; tell me what feels good and what doesn't, tell me if I'm going too fast or too slow; I'm not a mind-reader. For the gods’ sake, tell me if I'm hurting you, that is not my scene. "Enhancements" (that means poppers or other drugs) are fine, in moderation, but if I have a bottom who is too drugged out to know what I am doing to him or what's happening, I will stop the scene immediately. Talk to me, look at me -- I'm not "doing" you, we're doing this together. The psychic and emotional connection is just as important as the physical, that's what makes "handball sex" more than just jamming your arm in someone's ass.<br />
<br />
Any good top knows that the bottom is always really in control in sane, mutual scenes, no matter how kinky or rough the play might be. But the top is the one who is “running the show” during the scene, and when I’m topping, I know that I have certain responsibilities;<br />
<br />
Communication: It is my responsibility to listen to my partner, to ask him what’s happening if I sense that something isn't working right for him. It is my responsibility to work with him, not work on him, so that we both enjoy the scene.<br />
<br />
Timing: Some pigs do want a fist rammed up their butt fast and fairly deep; some have to be opened gently and slowly. Some like a lot of “action”, pumping and twisting; some prefer a smooth slow entry, straight in. Listen, feel, and take the time to "learn" a new hole you are playing in, and learn what it wants and what it can take. It is my responsibility to know whether this bottom has been playing all night or this is "openers" for him, and adjust to that. If I don't know, I ask. Never rush a handball scene; you can hurt someone that way. This is not an Olympics event (yet!) and no one has a stopwatch.<br />
<br />
Preferences: Some bottoms want depth, as far in as you can get it, some want width or two hands. Some want to be teased, some want to be used and abused. Some want a long, slow, sensual session; some want to be punched. (A few rare pigs want all of the above, and if you find one, hang on to him!) If you don't know what the bottom you're playing with wants or expects, you're not asking or he's not saying, and it's your responsibility as the top to correct that.<br />
<br />
Breaks: Some guys who say, "I need a break" just mean stop where you are, let's pause a minute, leave your wrist in me, and then we'll start over again. Some mean take it out, I have to stop now. Some want to stop; some want to be teased or have your cock substituted for your fist for a while. I’ve learned, over time, to read a lot of body and tone-of-voice signals, but if you don't know what he really means, never assume, always ask.<br />
<br />
Problems: To put it bluntly, shit happens. If you start to play and discover that your bottom is not properly cleaned out, stop the scene. That's for health reasons, for both of you, obviously, but it’s also for your partner’s own comfort and safety. Feces can be gritty or have solid material that can cause irritation and/or damage. Be nice about it, just stop and suggest that he clean out a bit more before he plays.<br />
<br />
A "bit of pink" is not always a problem, but if you see any dark red blood, stop immediately and tell your partner why you are stopping. Internal bleeds are not nice. If you see any visible bleeding from the anus after you withdraw, get your partner into a shower immediately, and rinse his butt (very gently – we are not talking about a cleanout here) with cold or cool water. If it doesn't stop, take him to an ER. Do not send him to the ER, take him, and go with him. If you can't do that, you have no business playing this game. Any time a man lets you put your fist or arm into his butt, he becomes your responsibility if something goes wrong.<br />
<br />
Gloves: If you always want to use gloves, that is your choice. If you prefer to play without them, as I do, it becomes the bottom’s choice. If the bottom says to glove up, glove up. It is his ass you’re playing in, after all. Some club or party scenes insist that all members or guests use gloves at all times. In a group scene where men will be playing with multiple partners, that’s a good idea. (Note about gloves: Some men have an allergy or sensitivity to latex gloves. I keep Nitrile and/or Vinyl gloves at home; it’s worth the extra cost to make sure that my bottoms don’t have an adverse reaction.)<br />
<br />
Hand care: If you will be playing without gloves, it is your responsibility as a top to make sure that your hands are ready to do so. That means clean, of course, washed with bacterial soap immediately before playing. It also means fingernail hygiene. Keep your nails trimmed as short as you can without cutting into flesh, and file them after cutting. Do not cut your nails immediately before playing, which can leave rough edges. Ideally, you should trim your nails the day before you are going to play, and file them then and the next day. If you have any recent cuts or abrasions on your hands, use gloves, for both your sake and your bottom’s. Handball Q&A files always include tips for bottoms for cleaning out, but some overlook the fact that the Top has his cleaning regimen to follow, also.<br />
<br />
Sling play: I was taught several things by the tops I learned from that I always follow. As the top, it is my responsibility to protect the sling in a party situation where others will be using it. That means covering the "business end" with paper towels or a pad. I help the bottom into the sling, adjust the height and leg-straps and make sure he is comfortable before we start playing. I put another pad or towels on the floor under the sling.<br />
<br />
When the scene is over, I was taught to clean my hands and arms first, with paper towels, and then clean the bottom's bottom. As my buddy told the newcomer in New Orleans, "you made the mess; it's your responsibility to clean it up." I check the floor to see if that needs cleaning, and then and only then help the bottom out of the sling. Help him out; not just let him climb out on his own. Handball is intense play, the bottom has been on his back for a while, and when he stands up, the blood-pressure change might leave him woozy, especially if he's been using poppers. I pull bottoms out of the sling into my arms - often into a warm kiss - and hold them until I am sure they can stand on their own. This man has just given up his ass to you; the least you can do is make sure he can navigate by himself.<br />
<br />
When I know he’s okay, I police the area, disposing of any used towels, mopping up spills on the floor, and wiping down the sling. Others will be playing there. Used gloves and pads and towels should always be disposed of properly.<br />
<br />
Cleaning up: If you are playing one-on-one, with a partner, say, and you know each other's health status, that's one thing, but if you are playing in a party or group situation, that's another. After every scene, wash your hands and arms thoroughly with an anti-bacterial soap. Wash to the elbows every time, I don't care how deep you got; and wash past them if you got past them. Wash your cock if that came into play, or even if you touched it with a hand that had been in someone's butt. And check the rest of your body. It’s amazing where Crisco or J-Lube can turn up after a hot scene.<br />
<br />
Lubes: Playing with multiple partners from a shared lube supply is never a good idea. It is the responsibility of the bottom to maintain, keep track of and use only his own lube, but it is the top's responsibility to watch out that he does, and not double-dip, that is, use the same lube on a new bottom that you just used on another.<br />
<br />
All of this is just common sense and common courtesy, but as that moment in New Orleans showed, there are some players who need to be reminded, from time to time. If you are new to handball, especially as a bottom, play only with experienced men who know what they are doing at first. If you don’t like what’s happening, say so. Any real top worthy of the title will respect your wishes. If you are new to the scene as a top, start with experienced bottoms, and listen to them. Alternately, work with an experienced top, side by side, and watch and learn. Every man you play with from here on out will thank you for it.<br />
<br />
My personal motto is included in most of my on-line profiles. If the bottom isn’t having a good time, neither am I. I’m not just looking for a warm place to stick my arm. It’s sex, men, and it’s supposed to be fun, or why do it? Fun, to this top, does not mean I get my jollies and move on; it means we both have fun. That means I have to take some responsibility to make sure that my partner is enjoying the scene as much as I am. With all due modesty, I think most of them do.<br />
<br />
If you are new to FF, as a bottom or a top, check out Fisting 101, available from Hot Desert Knights in Palm Springs, CA. Bill Freyer from RHSD and Ray Butler have made a wonderful film that anyone new to the scene should watch. It's informative and educational, and it's also hot. What film with Bill and Ray in it could not be hot? You can order it from HDK at: http://www.hotdesertknights.com/<br />
<br />
Play hot, guys, but play safe and play sane...<br />
<br />
Fritz<br />
<br />
Fritz is a 57-year-old Leather Daddy in New York City, who has been involved in the Handball scene for about 30 years. He is a member of FFA-CAC (Washington, DC), RHSD (San Diego, CA) and an associate member of CDA (Minneapolis, MN) and M.A.F.I.A (Chicago, IL). He is a member of the Handball list and his profile is on the Handball Index and the Pig Pages under NYCFRITZ. He regularly travels within the U.S. and to Europe for fisting, watersports, and leather events, and is always interested in meeting new buddies who share his interests.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Note from RedRight: I can say from first-hand (or is that
first-hole?) experience that Fritz is both a fine top and a true
gentleman. He is a very active member of the Handball list (see
reference on my Links Page) and I am honored to include this article,
which he wrote for Out Magazine in New Zealand, in my site.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<i>[Editor's Note: The email address included here no longer works
and I have not been able to reach the author, but the work is,
apparently in the public domain, so I present it here to you all as a
public service that I feel the writer would definitely approve. If
anyone has information about the writer, I would very much like to
contact him for other thoughts he may have written down] </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4272711048179952985.post-6338712761725603542014-03-01T16:30:00.003-05:002014-03-02T12:29:10.211-05:00Cleaning out the ass for fisting and fuckingI found this message posted somewhere offering advice for boys new to stretching and opening up their anus to prepare it for fucking, fisting, whatever. It was posted as advice for beginners to anal action.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
_____________________________________________<br />
<br />
Maybe my techniques can be of some use.<br />
<br />
I am very experienced in taking cock in my ass since I am a gay anal escort. I have been fucked thousands and thousands of times over many years by more men than you would think. So I know what I am taking about as far as taking care of my asshole. My first advice to anyone into extreme use of their anus is to do it when you are sober and drug free. I repeat this advice at the end because I know it is correct. OK -<br />
<br />
I use a hose to clean out my anus to prepare it for fucking. It is one of those things that attach to a bathtub faucet/spout It is sold as a hair rinsing thing - it has a small hose (1/2 diam) about 5 feet long with a spray thing on one end - take the spray thing off and you have an outstanding hose to clean out your asshole. These are found in almost every general store. If you buy one, make sure your get the right size for your water spout.<br />
<br />
AND for the people newly into anal action can also be used to open and stretch our asshole<br />
<br />
1. First clean the turds out by turning on the warm water to a low level so that water is gently flowing and put the end against your anus and let a little water flow in until you feel slightly full and then sit on the toilet and shoot the turds out - repeat this until you are empty. Practice makes perfect.<br />
<br />
NOW you can use this hose to really open up your asshole. <br />
<br />
2. Turn the water temp up until it is as warm as you can take. not hot, just very warm. Test it out carefully.<br />
<br />
3. stand up in your tub and take the hose with the water shooting out just about 1/2 inch or so and put it up against your asshole and gently tap it against the opening. <br />
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4. Your asshole will open a little, responding to the warm water and the stimulation. Put the end into your asshole a little and use it as a dildo, fucking yourself with the hose/water stream. Move the hose back and forth against the sides of your anal lips. They will respond by opening wider and wider. Keep working and keep the water as warm as possible. When the hose is new, the end will have straight edges that may cause a little pain - rub it against something that will "sand" and round down these edges so it is more comfortable. <br />
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5. This technique will also draw out turds deep inside - somehow it makes an anus spasm - do not shoot a lot of water deep inside - just keep dildo-ing yourself and you will see your anus open up nicely. But not into a huge monster hole in just one day.<br />
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6. You must do this a number of times to see progress. I do it to make my asshole loose to take cocks. I used to do it a lot to prepare my asshole for fisting sessions. Once it opens up, you can insert a medium dildo to wear around for a few hours per day to keep it stretched and loose. Move on to larger dildos as your anus gets bigger.<br />
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MAKE SURE you do not rush this ass stretching. Many guys are in to much of a hurry - they get all sexed up and try to jam big dildos, etc. into themselves and tear the anus. Do not use drugs and stay sober. In the long run you will have a better time if you are sober and take your time.<br />
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Amy questions? Comments? Write to SykeMstr@gmail.com.Psychmstrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087940311060157473noreply@blogger.com0